


Weiss-Tama

by DrGairyuki



Category: Gintama, RWBY
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Tragedy, Awesome, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Christmas Fluff, Comedy, Comedy romance action, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack and Angst, Crossover, Curses, Dark Comedy, Drama, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Funny, Gags, Gallows Humor, Gen, Heartwarming, Heartwrenching, Historical References, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Humor, Insanity, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parody, Romantic Comedy, Samurai, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Tearjerker, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tragedy, Tragedy/Comedy, Women Being Awesome, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-07-24 16:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrGairyuki/pseuds/DrGairyuki
Summary: What do you with a ice queen who's now insane from another fandom, a former samurai who's now a lazy bum reading Weekly Shōnen Jumps, and a space dog that is literally the protector of Earth(not really)? Why, forced them to pay the rent in a journey that is the fucking excuse of the author's fucking self deprecating.And yes, this sum up the summary and no, I am not making it up since i'm the who's writing this fanfic. *Currently on hiatus*





	1. RUN! IT'S THE ICE QUEEN!!!

On the second floor of a snack pud- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. You already know what the place is because you saw the damn place in the Gintama crossover section and you must have some knowledge of it. And if not... why the fuck are you here? GO READ THE MANGA FOR CRYING OUT lOUD YOU MOTHERFU-

Sorry, i'm just in a bad mood because it was suppose to be posted weeks ago but my own computer didn't arrive in time and i'm just writing right now. *breath in and sigh* So let's fuck the introduction and move on to the goddamn story.

"We already over a year now and the last arc of Gintama is still not finish yet? What the fuck are you?! A bunch of lazy gorilla troops?!" Gintoki ranted his reaction of the Silver Soul arc itself still not being finished yet.

"Gin-san, do you realized that the author can't right?" Some Glassian who's part of Yorozuga Gin whose name I can't remember pointed it out. "OI, MY NAME IS SHIN-"

"Too bad those gorillas aren't bandanas or else i've eaten them already." Kagura comment before she chow on the giant-size onigami (rice ball) made for her, because she's part of the Yato clan species, which one of the words meaning "Moon Rabbit" in japanese. Get it? Kagura is a cute little rabbit because she's a small girl. Eh? Eh? Eeeehhhhh? ... Okay, that joke is just as bad as the Mr. Freeze's pun jokes from the terrible movie that is known as *shiver* Batman and Robin. Let's get going before I have terrible war flashbacks in battles that I wasn't involve in due to that movie.

"OI, DON'T TRY TO IGNORE ME-"

"Oi, Kagura. If you eat too way many bandanas, then you'll end up vomiting out a baby just like how Piccolo was born, just like in Lesson 675." Gintoki warned the teenage Yato girl as he pick his nose with his pinky while Sadaharu just yawned.

"OI, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING??!"

"Oh, please. We're just in some fucking lazyass writer's fanfic because he fucking was bored as hell and wanted to do a Gintama fanfic. Like ever the chance of that ever happening at all." Kagura said arrogancely about it.

"OI, ARE YOU TWO EVEN LISTENING TO ME??!"

"Oi, Glassian. Quit whining just like Kira from Gundam Seed." Gintoki told the Glassian as he compare his complaining to the whining of the most hated Gundam character in the 2018 poll.

"OI! YOU KNOW MY NAME-"

"No I don't. Because if we your true name, then it would ruin the joke."

"WHAT THAT SUPPOSE TO-" That was when their doorbell rang, causing the Glassian to forget whatever he was arguing about to get up from the couch and get the door. "I get it!" He went to the door and slide it open, which reveal...

"HELLO~!"

A similar white-hair short ice queen from a certain show wearing a simple white t-shirt and white pant as she struck with a Miku post with a big cheerful smile on her face. There was a pregnent pause as the Glassian and the Ice Queen look each other in silence, remaining in posture... before he suddenly slam the door close on her face and yelled to Gintoki with a panic look as he shouted. "GIN-SAN! WE GOT A ICE QUEEN PROBLEM!!!"

"So?" Gintoki asked with disinterest in his voice as he continue to pick his nose.

"THE TIME-TRAVELING SPACE NAZI ARE INVADING-"  
"THAT'S RASICT!"

The short white-haired girl fired a Ice-formed gauntlet that suddenly burst through the shoji, punching the Glassian right in the face, knocking his own glasses right off of his face, sent him flying across the room, and making a Glassian-shaped dent in the wall just right by the silver-haired former samurai as Gintoki, Kagura, and Sadaharu just causally ignoring it as if it happen all the time.

Gintoki then slowly look at said Glassian with an annoyed look across his face for making the dentation in the wall before the ice queen then suddenly turn angry from happy as she then pick up the glasses from the floor, thinking that it was the Glassian, as she made a cheerful remark to it. "Oh good~! You've barely dodge that attack, you damn Glassian~!"

* * *

 

_One moment later..._

"My name is Weiss. It's a pleasure to meet you." The ice queen, who've introduce herself as Weiss, which is not surprising and really obvious because of the name of the fanfic up above, to the Yorozuya as they were sitting on the two couch facing each other with the Glassian still wedge in the wall.

"So Weiss, why you are here? You want to hired us to get back to your own universe?" Gintoki asked before he drank some strawberry milk out of a strawberry milk carton.

"No. Actually..." Weiss suddenly stood up and point her finger at Gintoki as she shouted. "I WANT YOU TO HIRED ME!!!!"

Gintoki just give a blank expression to Weiss before he start picking his nose again as he ask. "Ok. So why should I hired you?"

"Because my name is in the title of this stupid fanfic. If it wasn't named after me, then why should I be even in this dumbass fanfic made by a lazyass robot dinosaur that can laser out of his mouth if it wasn't named after me anyway?" Weiss pointed out. Gintoki was silent for a moment before he look up to see the title and then look then back at Weiss.

"You mean the black-colored Gairyuki from Zoids whose early fanfics are so corny and bad that they good?" He asked, which is pretty true if you read them. Trust me, don't read some of them. They're pretty terrible, espically my first attempt at a fanfic.

"Yes."

"Okay. Fine you can join." Gintoki answered as he then reassume picking his own nose, which made Weiss happy as she jump into the air due to this.

"YAH!" Weiss then bring up the glassian's glass and talk to it." NOW I CAN REPLACE YOU AS ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS OF THIS STUPID CROSSOVER, YOU STUPID GLASSIAN!!!"

The glassian then peel himself off of the wall and quickly came over to her before he grab his glasses from her and put them back on before he shouted at Weiss in anger. "OI, YOU CAN'T JUST REPLACE ME! I'M ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS!"

"You're just one of the butt-monkeys of the manga who is demoted to a extra role and whose name that the author of this crossover fanfic can't really remember." Weiss simply stated as she pointed it out to him.

"I'M-" The glassian shouted as he was to retort... before only to realized that she was telling the _truth_ to him. ' _Oh my god. She's right about that._ '

The glassian then sulk and wailed about the injustice of all being demoted to a extra role as he pounded the floor. "Oi, you don't need to whine about it since you still got your dignity." Gintoki calmly commented as he sit down into his favorite chair and lean as he prick his nose while reading this week current issue of Weekly Shōnen Jump.

"THAT EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!"

The rest of the Yorozuya just causally ignored the glassian's sulking. Sadaharu just open one of his eyes and see Weiss before closing his eyes to sleep... only for him to did a double-take and realizing this was _Weiss_ from the web show RWBY. Knowing her reactions to cute things in the RWBY fandom community, he attempt to sneak into outside so she won't notice that he was here... "CUTY DOGGO~!" Only for the Yorozuya's mascot to cursed his own damn luck as Weiss was skipping toward him... before she was kick into the wall of the room by Kagura and fall to the floor before she got up and yelled at the Yato girl. "WHAT THE HELL YOU DID THAT FOR?!"

"ONLY I'M ALLOW TO HUG SADAHARU, YOU DUMB STICK!"

"What-WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST CALLED ME, YOU STUPID BRAT?!"

"BRING IT ON, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!"

Weiss immediately summon the Armor Gigas to attack Kagura and they immediately begun to punching and fighting each other as they let out their battle warcries.

"ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT!"

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!? A DEATH BATTLE BETWEEN KENSHIRO AND JOTARO KUJO?!" Gintoki yelled in confusion as he reference the 90th episode of Death Battle.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, inspiration I got for this crossover was RWBY Tama by AtGrassNeinJuanWan and A World of Bloody Evolution by RedrumSprinkles, put them in a blender, and comes pop out Weiss-Tama.  
> The joke that I can't remember Shinpaichi's name? It's actually true, as I can only remember Gintoki, Kagura, and even Sadaharu's names, but not Shinpaichi's. As I can only remember the Shin part of his name and end with something something. And the main reason why he has a demoted role now as the buttmonky. Poor Shinpaichi, even in real life, he still can't get any respect. Which is why I put into this crossover as a joke in the first place.   
> As you tell by reading, I go with the flow. In another word, I improvised.  
> I still got one more story to make and post before i'll disappearing for a few days. Why? It is because i'm making two special one-shots for Hallowen because I fucking love Hallowen so much. And don't worry, I'll still do the 5th story in the Chaos Emperor Saga will still come to this month.


	2. Introduction To All of the Characters (Or; TOO MANY GODDAMN CHARACTERS!!!!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter is too damn long! Look, just do me a huge favor and lower your expection, okay?

Alright, after making those two fanfic for a certain special holiday, time to get to-

"WAIT!"

WTF?!

"WE GOT A PROBLEM, GIN-SAN!" Weiss shouted as the rest of the Yorozuya were in the Snack Otose.

"Huh? And what's that?" Gintoki asked with disinterest tone in his own voice while Kagura was eating up all of the rice in the rice cooker.

'THERE'S TOO MANY CHARACTERS THAT MAKE PROMINENTS APPEARANCES!"

"So?"

"THE AUTHOR OF THIS RETARDED FANFIC IS TOO DAMN FUCKING LAZY TO DO THEM IN THEIR OWN CHAPTERS!!!!" Weiss shouted as she pointed it out, which is true. Because i'm just too damn lazy to introduce the certain characters in Gintama in their own chapters.

Gintoki stop for a moment to think about it. "Oh yeah, you're right." He comment before he took a big gulp from his beer.

"Yeah. Lazy as Gintoki getting his rent on time." Otose bluntly deadpan as she just blew out a breath of smoke while Catherine and Tama were listening.

"OI! MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, YA KNOW!" Gintoki retorted.

"Gin-san, you know that Otose-san can see it through like a thin sheet of paper." The glassian have pointed it out to him. What was his name again? Let's me see if I can remember... Shin... Shin... Shin... Shin Getter Robo? "OI! MY NAME IS NOT SHIN GETTER ROBO! IT'S-"

"COMBINE! SHIN GETTER-2!"

"HUH?!

Weiss suddenly wrap around her legs around Shin Getter Robo and backflip both her and him into the air before they landed on Kagura's shoulder... as she then suddenly ram the back of her head into Shin Getter Robo's cotch.

" _DRILL SHAKER!!!!_ "

Shin Getter Robo was knock out cold by the shattering of his poor cotch into so many pieces and immediately went unconscious on the floor.

"Sheesh, this guy doesn't have a huge amount of willpower, huh?" Weiss comment to Kagura as she and the Yato girl point with Weiss' rapier and Kagura's umbrella.

"Yup, he's a weakling." Kagura answered.

"Yo." Everyone in the pud, except for Shin Getter Robo, look at the door... to see a middle-aged dumb ass old man called Madao (AKA Taizou Hasegawa, but let just called him Madao because i'm too damn lazy to called him by his real name) at the door.

"Oh, hey look, Kagura." Weiss said. "You know what I see?"

"What?" Kagura asked.

"A fucking completely homeless dumbeass."

"Yup, he's a real fucking piece of shit."

Madao was silent before he pull out his cigarette and blew a puft of smoke before he spoke. "Do u know de way-"

Weiss and Kagura suddenly let out their battle cries as they both grab his head and smashed his face into the floor at the same time before Weiss shouting orders. "BARRICK THE FUCKING PUD! BECAUSE THE FUCKING UGANDA KNUCKLES ARE FUCKING INVADING THIS DIMENSION!!"

"YOU AIN'T FUCKING TAKING ME LIFE OR TAKING MY SHITS, YOU FUCKERS!!!" Kagura shouted as she aimed her umbrella gun at the doorway for the invading Uganda Knuckles to give them their medicince. There was absolutely nothing as the wind blew a laughing tumble weed on the road while Gintoki watch the still form of Weiss and Kagura before he begun picking his nose.

"Oi, Weiss and Kagura. You do realized the Uganda Knuckle is just an internet meme, right?" Gintoki pointed it to the two crazy girls as he continue to prick his nose.

"OI, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD!" Weiss shouted right up in Gintoki's face.

"THAT'S RIGHT YOU FUCKING OLD FUCKING MAN!" Kagura joined in with Weiss.

That was when the front door of the Snack Otose slide open again and turn their attention even if the Yorozuka were to do a job for a prince and his bulter. A rich, animal-obsessed, and fat idiot purple amanto prince and his green lanky, glass-wearing, and also idiot butler. "Oh, it's just the Prince baka and his stupid butler." Gintoki said as he continue picking his nose.

"Oi, you just called me a baka."

There was silent for a moment as the camera show the Yorozuka in the pud, then to the baka pair, then back to them, which reveal that Weiss and Kagura are suddenly in front of the baka pair before Weiss suddenly summoned the Armor Gigas' left gauntlet to grab Prince Baka's chidanneksko while Kagura suddenly grab Jii's chidanneksko as well. The two girls suddenly spin the two Amanto-Oukoku around in the air like a Yoyo as letting out their warcries before throwing them out back into the street.

"OI! WHAT WAS FOR THAT?!" Prince Baka yelled at them in anger after he and his butler Jii suddenly got up from the ground and jump around in anger. "OI, MY NAME IS PRINCE HATA, YOU-"

"KAW! KAW KAW!!!"

That was when a suddenly absolute huge Steller's Sea Eagle suddenly flew over and it swoop in before it grab both Prince Hata and Jii with its talons piercing through their skulls and carry them away while the radio warned civilians, spoking by Crystal Ketsuno.

" _Earlier this morning, a unusual large Steller's Sea Eagle with a wingspan of over three meters (9.8 feets), named Toge, has escaped from International Bird Observatory. Citizens of Edo are asked to refrain from leaping or jumping angrily like a idiot prince._ "

The 3 Yorozuka just casually look on with a blank expression on their faces as the unusually large eagle carried the baka prince and the idiot servent before they went back inside of the pud and closed the door behind after thought it was nothing. "Oi, Dr. Gairyuki. Is this how we introduce characters? By introducing a bunch of idiots?" Gintoki asked. Which the answer is yes, because this is a goddamn fucking humor crossover crack fic you goddamn silver-haired motherfucker who read Jumps all day and comment on himself in the mirror.

"Oi, Kagura. That was a pretty fucking big eagle, huh?" Weiss comment as she and Kagura look at the two still unconscious glass-wearing idiots on the floor while couching down. Seriously. Who sleep on the middle of the goddamn motherfucking floor?

"Yup. It fucking is." Kagura answer as she ate some seaweed pickle.

"So you want to tied these two idiots on some poles and sacrifice them to the motherfucking huge eagle to see if it want to eat them?"

"Sure. Why the fucking hell not?"

"Oi. Don't go sarcificing people to a bird to see if they like it." Gintoki told the two girls while continuing to pick his nose.

"Oh, go fuck youself, Gin-san." Weiss insulted Gintoki.

"... The fuck did you just said to me, you fucking Leucism son of a bitch?"

"You fucking heard me, you lazy motherfucking albino."

That was when Weiss suddenly summoned Armor Gigas for absolutely no apparent reason, because she was fucking bored or some shit. Possible because it entertain her or something. Did I mention it can now summoned itself whenever it want? Yeah, that's some ass pull right on there. The Armor Gigas look at its summoner and Kagura, then down to Shin Getter Robo and Madao, then back to its summoner and Kagura, before it pull out a tablet and type in the word and shown it to the audience due to the fact it is already text because this fic is text-based anyways. "Why I do have a summoner who's now insane? Also, why I am now in the role of being the sane man to her?"

"Quit questioning about life and help us with trieding Shin Getter Robo and Madao to some poles."

"Wha? I thought you've summon for no reason?"

"Shut up. You're just jealous because you weren't in the Dark Soul series. Right, Kagura?"

"Yup."

"Eh?"

That was when Weiss' newtype sense suddenly flare up like haywire. "N-NANI?!" She said with terror in her tone of voice as she suddenly look at the front door with an over-the-top look of horror written on her face as she sense something horrifying coming. Ya know, like those over-the-top expressions in those kind of horror movies that I never really bother to even watch. Why? Because watching movie without stopping are fucking boring!

"Eh? What's up with you?" Gintoki asked as he notice something is up with the now insane ice queen, through with a slight edge to them. "You seen like you saw a ghost... not that i'm scared of them." He quickly stated, which was complete utterly bullshit.

"No, something much much worse..." Weiss said, still looking in horror. "A devil."

"Please, there's no devil that I've know of... unless..." Gintoki said as he looking at his arm as he thought about it for a moment... then he realized in horror with terror stone into his face. "Unless..."

The Armor Gigas was now more confuse as it doesn't what they were saying.

Before they could say anything more, the front door suddenly slide open, with Gintoki and Weiss suddenly look at it in terror, as it reveal... Otae. "Hi, have anyone of you seen my little brother?" She ask with a smile on her face as she carry a picnic basket.

' _SATAN IN HIS HUMAN FORM IS HERE!!!!!!_ ' Both Gintoki and Weiss thought in horror as they look at Otae with terror edge on their faces and mouth open in fear.

"Ah, hey anego." Kagura said to Otae rather casually before she ask her as she continue to eat her seaweed pickle. "Why did you want your brother for?"

"I want him to eat my cookings that I recently made." Otae answered as she grab something from her basket and brought it out the most horrified thing in the entire universe of Gintama, which was so terrifying and horrifying that it would cause Takasugi to scream like a woman, and would it cause Kamui to rather died by his father's hand then rather eating it and burying himself in his own grave just to escape from it, and cause the rest of the Kiheitai to go into hiding for several months to even _years_ until they make sure it was long gone by that point... all while Utsuro would happily eat it as he would die as a happy man.

The thing that was in the very hands of Otate was called...: Dark Matter. AKA, Otae's cookings.

Gintoki's horrified look said it all on his face with his mouth gaping wide in pure fear. Kagura, Otose, Catherine, and Tama took one good look at it and immediately stood away from Otae. Very far away. And Weiss was suddenly dress up like a Shinto priest (Kannushi) like those at Shinto shines and was holding Christian Cross while praying to Cthulhu to banished the very thing in the room.

"So where's my little brother, anyways?" Otae asked again with a cheerful smile still on her face.

"Here's your sacrifices." Weiss answered, suddenly acting back to "normal", as she and Kagura are holding the unconscious Shin Getter Robo and Madao to Otae.

' _WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY WEISS IS SUDDENLY ACTING NORMALLY NOW ALL OF A SUDDENLY?!_ ' Gintoki ask that question in his mind. ' _Is it because Otae is a follow female and therefore, she is safe from her wrath like Kagura? Is it because she is so terrified that she acting normal (for her) now?! AND WHY AM I ASKING THESE QUESTIONS IN MY MIND IN TEXTS?!!!_ '

Otae then suddenly let out her own warcry as she shoved the Dark Matter down into both Shin Getter Robo and Madao's throats, making them more knocked out than knock out (was that a innuendo? *shrug* oh well) as they spray out their own blood through their mouth like mini-water foundations, before Weiss and Kagura then give them german suplexes right into the floor.

"Oh thank for your help." Otae said causally as she return happily smiling.

"No problem, anego." Kagura said.

"We were only doing our job." Weiss answered.

That was when a gorilla came flying into the pud. "OTAE-SAN-" With a shout of "DEAD!", Otae suddenly dropped her basket and violently smashed with a downward punch to the head, making a crater in the floor where the gorilla's head was, who was none other (wait for it... *drumrolls*) than gorilla- wait, wait, wait. Hold on one moment... let's see... ah, whoops. My mistake. It was none other than Kondo Isao, the commander of the Shinsengumi, but better known as the Gorilla of Gintama. And those who weren't looking, Kyubei suddenly sneak into the pub and took some of the Dark Matter just because that's all I can think of introducing them into this chapter.

"Oh look, the gorilla..." Gintoki comment with his well-known dead fish eyes face.

That was when a masochism ninja you know as Sacchan suddenly burst out of the ceiling and dive toward Gintoki while holding a piece of rope. "GIN-SAN! WE MUST GET MARRRY-"

"SHORYUKEN!!!" Gintoki shouted the famous move from Street Fighter series as he did the uppercut move and directly punching into Sacchan's face, which sent her flying right back into the ceiling and was embedded into it, much to her enjoyment thank to her masochism part of her nature.

"Oi, Kondo. We're suppose to be on partol, not going to stalk Otae." The vice-commander of the Shinsengumi, Hijitaka- wait, no, sorry, missspelling. Hijikata Toushirou, said as he walk into Snack Otose as he smoke his cigarette before he see that it was already finished and frick it to a ashtray that Otose was holding convincely and got out another one before he notice Gintoki. "Oh, it's you Gintoki."

"Fuck you, Mayora-sama."

Hijikata just ignored Gintoki and try to lit up his current cigarette with his lighter as he stood still... before he duck and covered when a rocket was fired and missed, damaging the wall. Otose just look in annoyance at this as the Shinsengumi residentant sadist, Okita Sougo, walk into the pud. "Tsk, I missed yet again." Okita said to himself with his Bazooka on his shoulder before he notice Gintoki and Kagura. "Oh, hey boss."

"Hi Sougo."

"Hey, China girl."

"Fuck you, Sadist"

"Love you."

Gintoki quickly retained Kagura as she attempt to jump at Sougo and claw him to death before Hijikata got up from the floor and brush off the dust on his jacket and readjusted it. "Oh, hey, you've survived that."

"OI, THAT BECAUSE YOU WERE TRYING TO KILLED ME!" Hijikata shouted angrily at Sougo.

"No I wasn't."

"You obvious did."

"Hey, ain't you Okita Sougo?" Weiss asked, causing her to gain Sougo's attention. "The guy who is so sadist that earn him the nickname of 'Prince of Sadist', which he is proud of, AKA one of the character in a terrible Gundam show nobody like before a even far more worse Gundam show has been introduced...?"

"I see that you have heard of me."

Sougo said with interest in his voice.

"... And the guy who had berated himself for not able to makr his older sister happy and only stripping away she wanted due to the fact that scene was engraved into the author of this stupid crossover's mind."

"... Why did you have to bring that up?" Sougo ask before he walk to the corner and sulk.

"Oi! He maybe a sadist for sure, but bringing up the fact that the scene that the author's mind was engrave with make him depress about it!" Hijikata scolded Weiss... before he was suddenly push away by Yamazaki, much to his chagrin. "OI! YAMAZAKI!"

"PLEASE DATE WITH ME!" Yamazaki shouted as he had fallen with in love with Weiss' beauty.

"Go fuck yourself. I don't like plain-looking dudes anyways. So go eat fucking Hijikata's dog food, you motherfucker." Weiss answer him.

"Yeah, go eat Mayora-sama's dogfood, Yamazaki." Gintoki comment.

"Oh... okay..."

"OI! MY MAYONNAISE'S NOT DOG FOOD!" Hijikata shouted angrily at them for insulting his love of mayonnaise, which Sougo would have praise Weiss for knowledging, but he was so depress that he just written 'WELL DONE' on the wall with a knife, while Yamazaki sulk with the sadist in depression.

'Wait a minute... you have a ninja, right?" Weiss asked.

"Eh? You mean Saito? Yeah, I think he's suppose to be here because the author like him or something." Hijikata answered.

Weiss was silent for a moment... before she suddenly scream in rage as she then suddenly summoned Armor Gigas' giant sword. "MCGILLIS! Come out so I can stop you from summoning King Ghidorah!" Weiss yelled with berserk rage.

"OH CRAP! SHE'VE GONE BERSERK WITH THE CASTING GAG JOKES!" Gintoki shouted in horror at this as he noted it.

"WHAT?! I THOUGHT SHE WAS SORT OF MAGICAL GIRL WITCH, NOT A BROODING MAN WITH A GIANT SWORD!" Hijikata shouted as he noted about Weiss' japanese voice actor.

"Yo." Saito's signboard as he appear against the wall inside Snack Otose. "What's up?"

"GRIFFITH!!!" Weiss yelled in berserk Gut-stype as she swung the Armor Gigas' big sword at Saito, who just sidestep it to the right as the giant sword was then embedded into the wall. There was silent for an couple of seconds... before the ice-made sword suddenly disappear and Weiss was acting as if nothing has happen. "Your cats and t-rex like you because you're a bacon."

"HUH?!" Gintoki and Hijikata yelled in confusion as they were seriously confused of what the hell that's suppose to mean.

"Oh thank you."

"OI, What's that suppose to be a reference to Zoid or something?!" Hijikata shouted as he was still confused.

"Fuck you and your dog food." Weiss answered.

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!" Hijikata shouted angrily at Weiss for insulting his mayonaise.

While Hijikata was distracted by Weiss' own insult, a rather tall cactus was suddenly sneaking closer to Gintoki, which he notice, it was reveal to be none other than... Zura. "It's not Zura, it's Katsura." Huh? Oh yeah. Right. Right. Whatever.

"Oh hi, Zura." Gintoki said, continuing his dead fish-eye face.

"My name is not Zura, It's Katsura." Katsura responded while his partner-in-crime appeared beside him, Elizabeth, who look like some white duck/penguin looking thing... unless if you read the Silver Soul Arc already and if not, spoilers ahead.

"Yep, most definitely spoiler ahead in the last arc." Elizabeth's sign said on it. That was when Hijikata stop glaring and look behind him to see Katsura and Elizabeth. There was silent for a moment before Hijikata the pointed at them angrily.

"YOU!! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!"

"LAUNCH!!!!" That was when Katsura's cactus disguise fired its rocket boosters and fly out of the pud with Hijikata hot on his heels. There was silent before Gintoki spoke to Elizabeth.

"Still running from the Shinseigumi, huh?"

"Yep." Elizabeth answer on his sign before he flip around, which read. "Also, can we end this chapter now? It's getting too long and becoming redundant than it is already now."

"Yeah. That's a good question. Oi, author. Why the hell is this chapter is not finished yet?" Gintoki said. Which I don't fucking know yet, but luckly, I originally had the idea of Prince Baka suddenly appear back to the pud to tell you Yorozuka to find his Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets.

"Wait, WHAT?!"

"I need you guys to find my pet squid." Prince Baka said as he appear out of no where.

That was when they heard a explosion and the Yorozura immediately went outside to see what it was... only to see there was a Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets. They took one good look at it, then to each other, then back at it... before Gintoki and Weiss then immediately jumped on Gin's scooter while Kagura got on Sadaharu and immediately ran for their lives as the Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets then chased after them.

The camera show the Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets disappearing into the distance... before it slowly turn over to see Weiss' Armor Gigas hiding in the very back corner of Snack Otose with Saito and Elizabeth while Otose looked in annoyance at the damages of her building. "It's offically now." Armor Gigas' tablet said. "My life is now a running gag due to my role being only sane man partner."

"We know how you feel." Elizabeth's sign and Saito's signboard said in sympathy for the ice-made summon as they patted it on the shoulder.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Do you have a 'Talking with Signs' club?" "Yep."

* * *

 

Yorozura ran down the streets of Edo on Gin's scooter and Sadaharu while being chased by the Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets that is an excuse for me to introduce the rest of the characters appearing in this chapter because i'm just too damn lazy to write the rest of the chapter as they pass by, which are; Gengai, Kozenigata and Haji, Kurogoma, Jirocho and Pirako, Hedoro who was watering his plants, Tatsumi, Tetsuko, Zenzo who was reading last week's Weekly Shōnen Jump, Isaburo and Nobume eating donuts, Tsukuyo and Hinowa and Seita, Sakamuto and Mutsu, Ane and Mome, Yaeman A. Ikeda, and Shachi.

"Okay. So how we're gonna get rid of it?" Gintoki wondered out loud.

"BY EATING IT!" Kagura suggest as she aimed her umbrella at it.

"No."

"Don't worry, I have an convincely important plot device that is technially called Chekhov's gun!" Weiss said before she search for it. Gintoki, Kagura, and Sadaharu look at her as they were curious of what it is, but when she found it, their looks soon turned to pure horror as it was reveal to be none other then... Dark matter. "OKAY HERE WE GO!"

"NO WAIT" Gintoki yelled. "WE'RE MAYBE LEGAL TO KILL GIANT SPACE MONSTER THAT PRINCE BAKA BRING, BUT TRICKING THEM INTO OTAE'S TERRIBLE COOKING!!!!"

"OI, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!" "UNFORTUNATELY WE NEED TO FINISHED THIS CHAPTER NOW!"

"WAIT! NO!!!" Weiss threw Dark Matter at Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets and Kaiju-sized Giant Squid that can spit out rockets death by food poisoning from Otae's Dark Matter.

The Eagle was return to the zoo or whatever after it had attack a gorilla.

The fucking end. Now we finished with this goddman chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FUCK! THIS! CHAPTER! IT'S TOO GODDAMN LONG AND IT IS ALREADY FUCKING NIGHT IN GERMANY! If you got the references in this, THEN FUCKING GOOD FOR YOU! I'm going to do Zoid now! AND THAT IS IT! *gets up and leaves*


	3. Nosefortari; A Singing Of Scary

All of the Shinsengumi members gather at the room for a meeting, seated down on the floor of the Shinsengumi headquarter. They all quiet down when Hijikata begun to speak. "Alright, everyone. There's an ongoing problem that been going on for a while now. Now normally, I would have ignore if it was nothing serious at all... However... this issue is far more serious than I thought it was and i'm not going to by anymore as this has gone too far now." Hijikata said before he puff a long whis of smoke. There was a few moment of silent... before Hijikata suddenly jumped up from the floor as he pulled out his sword and pointed it at everyone with an angry-looking face as he shouted it. "WHO BEEN FUCKING STEALING MY GODDAMN MAYONNAISE EVERY SINGEL DAMN NIGHT AND WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT!!!!"

There was no reply from everyone in the room as they all give a blank look to the Demonic Vice-Commander before Okita spoke up as he point out a rather obivous flaw."Hijikata-san, all of us don't even like you dog food."

"OI, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Hijikata said angrily as he then pointed his sword at Okita's face, who just remained blank face at this. "REMEMBER REGULATION 11: DON'T FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S PERSONAL STUFF OR COMMIT SEPPUKU! I CAN FORCE YOU TO COMMIT SEPPUKU IF YOU'RE THE ONE BEEN STEALING THEM, YOU SADIST!"  
There was another beat of silent in the room until Kondo then cough up and decide to tell Hijikata something important. "Uh, Hijikata..."

"What?"

"Regulation 11 is now invalid."

"WHAT?! WHY?!"

"By the order of Yamatoakane (??????), since he believe it is unnecessary waste of officers."

"WHO?!"

"Yamatoakane Oda, you know him, right?"

"WHAT?! NO! NO, I DIDN'T HEARD OF HIM! WHO THE HELL IS HE?!"

"He's one of the Shogun's advisor/comissoner/retainer and one of the many descendents of Nobunaga Oda himself."

"HUH?! HOW COME I HAVEN'T HEARD OF HIM?!"  
"He'd just been mention now." Okita answered.

"WHEN?!"

"Now."

"NOW WHEN?!"  
"This chapter."  
"WHAT?! HE'S SOUND LIKE A OOC CREATED BY THE LAZYASS AUTHOR OR SOMETHING!!!"  
"That's because he is a OOC created by the lazyass author for this fanfiction."  
"THEN WHY- You know what? Never mind, i'm getting a huge headache." Hijikata said as he rub his templer for a moment in annoyance at this and took a quick breather to calm down his stress out mind. After taking a deep breath before sighing, Mayon-sama resume the meeting. "Alright, if not one of you are not stealing my mayonnaise, who the hell is?"

"I don't know Vice-commander, but does it maybe have to do with the abandon creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it next door?" Okita asked as he pointed out to the open slide door with his thumb to the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it, next door to the Shinsengumi headquarter.

"What the-?! WHY IS THERE SUDDENLY AN ABANDONED CREEPY CASTLE WITH SPOOKY CLOUDS OVER IT NEXT DOOR TO US?!"

"What are you talking about? It's always been there."  
"WHEN?!"

"Just now."

"JUST NOW WHEN?!"

"This chapter."  
"HOW?!"  
"Because the author is too lazy to put it somewhere else in Edo."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

 

_Later that night..._

Yorozuya were standing right at the front door of the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it with the classically scary piano music playing in the background ([X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9rZjlsyYY)). It was already night and crap as trick 'n' treaters were running from house to house to get candy from people in their house, running over old men's lawn, and getting lure in by your friendly neighborhood resident clown into candy van for free candy. Seriously, this is the main reason why Zee Captein never shared straws after the incident we see in the flashback that we got. Morality of the story? Never shared with anyone, not even your own goddamn blood-related family members and bond-made-by-fire friends because screw them and they all just can go dead and rot in hell! :D  
"OI! THAT'S SERIOUS A FUCK-UP MORALITY! Isn't that right, guys?"

Weiss, Gintoki, and Kagura then hissed loudly at the hobo right in front of them as they then tighten their hold on their own straws because its their straws, causing the hobo slump and walk away sadly.

"T-T-This p-place i-is s-sure s-scary g-guys." Shin... Shin.... Shin.... Shin Shishi Hokodan? Yeah. I'll go with that. Shin Shishi Hokodan said nerviously as he was scared of this. Actually. I think there's a better word for it. Let me see... let me see... let see me... tatata... nope, not that... not the right one right now... ah! There we go! He was absolutely fucking _terrified_ of this. "OI! MY NAME IS NOT SHIN SHISHI HOKODAN! IT'S-"  
"Don't worry. Don't be depress about being in a demoted role now. You'll be too scared to even think of being depress right now when we inside of the castle itself." Gintoki said as he patted on Shin Shishi Hokodan's shoulder with his right hand... before he begun to prick his nose with his pinky. "Beside, i'm not scared at all."

"THAT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT! I'M NOT DEPRESSED AND THAT IS NOT REASSURING AT ALL! AND MY NAME IS STILL NOT SHIN SHISHI HOKODAN! IT'S-"

"Quit fucking complaining about your role being just a fucking extra, I can't fucking think what is the foods inside of the fucking castle." Kagura said, telling Shin Shishi Hokodan to shut the fuck up right now, as she thought about what kind of foods are in the fridge of the castle as she ate her seaweed pickle. "Mmmm, I would love to have some candies right about now. What you think the kind of foods are in the castle, Shin Shishi Hokodan?"  
"OI! DON'T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S FOODS! AND MY NAME IS NOT-"  
"Well, the request came from the Tax Revenue Robbers. Dirty money grubbing Tax Revenue Robbers. Tried to rob me right out of my money! But joke on them! I have no money on me!" Weiss said.

"OI! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!"

"Huh? You mean the Shinsengumi?" Gintoki asked.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Because we'll get big amount of yens from them if we find out who's been stealing Hijikata's dog foods." Weiss answered. An random shout of "FUCK YOU!" from Hijikata himself can be heard in the background.

"OI! ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

"So look like we have a mystery at our hands." Weiss said as she turned toward the door of the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it, suddenly dressing like Sherlock Homes from the 2009 movie version.

"Oi, wrong clothing for reference." Gintoki told the ice queen as he continue to prick his nose with his deadpan look while looking at the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it. "Big money, huh? My main question is...; How are we going to get in?"

Weiss and Kagura answered Gintoki's question... by jump and threw themselves through the _walls_ on both sides of the _door_ itself, breaking into the castle and making a few holes in the walls. "OI! DON'T BREAK INTO A CASTLE THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT!" Shin Shishi Hokodan shouted at the two, terrifying at being someone's focus of anger on.

"Don't be depressed about that." Gintoki said as he patted him on the back.

"I'M NOT DEPRESS-"

Gintoki grab Shin Shishi Hokodan by back of his head and used his said head to smash into the door as a makeshift battering ram, making a hole in the front door of the abandoned creepy castle in the process. He then pull Shin Shishi Hokodan's head out of the hole and put his arm in it before he found the locks and open the door and then with a kick, slam the door open, much to Shin Shishi Hokodan's terror.

"GIN-SAN! THIS IS NOT STEALTHY AT ALL! WE GOING TO GET WHOEVER OWN THIS CASTLE'S ATTENTION!"

Gintoki just ignored Shin Shishi Hokodan as he still has his deadpan face on before he walked into the castle, much to Shin Shishi Hokodan's horror. When he walk in, he see that Weiss and Kagura were still laying face-flat on the floor of the abandoned creepy castle when they the holes in the walls. "Oi, get off of the floor." Gintoki said as he begun pricking his nose again.

Weiss and Kagura immediately pick themselves up from the floor and dusted off their cloths by themselves. When Yorozuya then shifted their attention on the inside of the abandoned creepy castle. They see that the inside of the castle was like a old gothic European castle-type inside look from those found in old horror films.

"WAIT A MINUTE! ISN'T THE INSIDE OF THE CASTLE A EUROPEAN-TYPE INSIDE LOOK?!"

"Yeah."

"BUT OUTSIDE OF THE CASTLE LOOK LIKE A TYPICAL JAPANESE-STYLE CASTLE!"

"So?"

"IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO DIFFERENT STYLES OF CASTLES!!!!"

"Just shut it. You're not stealthy too by shouting. Beside, this is just a chapter of a humor. So nobodies really cared." Gintoki said as he continue to prick his nose with a deadpan look on his look before he saw a mirror and said to himself. "Oh, why hello there."  
"Yeah, shut the fuck up, Shin Shishi Hokodan!" Weiss said.

"Yeah, shut the fuck up!" Kagura said before both Weiss and she turned their attention on the same mirror that Gintoki is looking himself in and shouted together as they give the mirror the flipping bird. "AND FUCK YOU TOO, OTHER US!!!!"

Shin Shishi Hokodan just whimper in sadness.

"OI!" Yorozuya turned their confused attention up on top of the staircase... only to see a man with a tall and strong figure with very lean and well-toned muscles, a very manly looking face with a circle beard, dark eyes, a long black hair, and a flawless smooth and fair skin, dressed in a night robe, and holding a cup of coffee in his right hand, and looking down at them in annoyance up top on the staircase. All of this almost make him look like a younger version of Housen. That was when he spoke in his low and gravel. "The hell are you doing in my house?" He ask, revealing his 4 sharp canine teeths, revealing he's a vampire. His similiarity to Housen and the revealing of his 4 fangs, realizing he might be a vampire, caused Shin Shishi Hokodan to immediately screamed like a little girl and fainted in a beat, before he fell backward.

Gintoki, Weiss, and Kagura took one look at the vampire with blank expression on all of their faces and immediately run into two different directions; with Gintoki taking the hall on the vampire's left while Weiss and Kagura took the hall on the vampire's right. All while running for their lives while their expression remain deadpan as they ran in the different hallway.

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... where Gintoki is..._

Gintoki was running in the hallway that he took for his life, wondering if there a vampire, are there any ghosts in this castle. "Oi, author. I'm not thinking that." Yeah, right Gintoki. That's complete bullshit. Anyway, he was so deep in his thought of about staying home and reading Weekly Shōnen Jump that he didn't notice where he was going and hit something against his face, which bounced his face off, causing him to stumble as he heard someone say "OH!". Once he got his surround and look of what he hit, he saw that it was a blank white ghost...

... Of a hot sexy lady draw in AkuOreo's own art style with a massive blossom on her chest that Gintoki hit his face on. The Albino former samurai and the incredible hot ghost just stared at each other in silent while Gintoki mentally debate whether he should scream in fear and turn to the other direction or just stay still and be aroused by the image of the ghost, all with the same dead fish eyes expression of his...

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... where Weiss and Kagura are..._

Weiss and Kagura were running down the hallway they took while still having the same blank expression on their faces before the Yato girl spoke to the Ice queen. "Hey, Weiss?"

"Hmm?"

"Should we turn our head around to make sure that fucking vampire is not running after us?"

"Of course, not. If we keep our head straight of where we're running, then we don't run into him. Like those sterotypical horror films."

"Good point."

Weiss and Kagura keep running before they then came to a speeching stop when they see someone standing in the middle of the hall right in front of them... who was none other than Freddy Kruger himself! "Little girls shouldn't run..." He said with a grin... before revealing his five razor sharp metal-clawed brown leather glove on his right hand with an shine on one of the claws. "BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY RUN INTO!" He laugh at his own joke that was seriously shitty.

"Hey, look Kagura. It's a fucking grumpy old lady who's having a coughing fit.'  
"Wait, WHAT?!"

"Oh yeah, it is a old lady judging by the winkle on her fucking face. But where's her cane?

"THEY'RE GODDAMN SCAR BURNS!"

"I guess she might have cut it down accidentally with her claws."

"I'M NOT A OLD LADY, YOU STUPID BITCHES!"

"Okay, so is that why she is yelling so fucking loudly indistincstly?"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME, YOU IDIOTS!"

"She's fucking yelling just because she's just a motherfucking cranky old mummy."

"Yeah, she's just a motherfucking cranky old mummy."

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME AT ALL?!!"

"You think a old lady would be fucking scary, Weiss?"

"No, they're only scary if they're motherfucking witches."

"Okay, but what about them being molester?"

"Nah, a male molester would be far more fucking scary."

"Good point."

Freddy was just baffled and dumbfounded by their lack of reaction to him and not scared of him at all.

That was when some random guy dressed in black clothings and wearing a pumpkin mask suddenly skit into the hall right in front of two girls and start dancing to the Spooky Scary Skeleton (Remix) song ([X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w) and [X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6-ZGAGcJrk)) while the song itself begun playing.

That immediately scared Weiss and Kagura as they screamed in terror before they turned to the other direction of the hallway and immediately ran toward it as if their lives depend on it.

Freddy was just shocked that they wasn't scared of him, but were scared more by this guy in the pumpkin mask dancing to the Spooky Scary Skeleton (Remix), before he then just growl in annoyance and decide to "Fuck it" and he return back to the dream world, with the guy in the pumpkin mask still dancing to the ironic halloween song.

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... back to where Gintoki is..._

Gintoki and the hot ghost continue to stared in silent at each other while the albino former samurai was still debating in his mind... when Weiss and Kagura suddenly running down the hall for their lives as they scream in horror and terror before they both knock Gintoki down by ramming their arms into him and immediately dragged him down the hall along the floor by his collar as they continue to run, gagging him.

"WEISS!"

"WHAT?!"  
"IS THE FUCKING PUMPKIN GUY AND THE FUCKING VAMPIRE GUY RIGHT BEHIND US?!"  
"I DON'T KNOW, BUT IF WE CONTINUE RUNNING DOWN THIS MOTHERFUCKING HALL UNTIL WE'LL BE DEAD TIRED, AT THAT POINT THEY'LL BE SO DAMN FUCKING TIRED OUT THAT THEY'LL FUCKING GIVE UP CHASING US AND DO SOMETHING ELSE!"

"GOOD FUCKING IDEA!"

"L-LET GO OF MY COLLAR, YOU FUCKING CRAZY GIRLS!" Gintoki gagged while Weiss and Kagura continue to drag the former samurai down the hall as they ran.

* * *

 

_12 hours later..._

Weiss and Kagura were heavily breathing, taking in some deep breaths, from all that running down the hall. "Do-do you think we lost him?" Kagura asked in between her breaths.

"I think so." Weiss answered.

That was when Gintoki got up from the floor and spoke. "Oi. Next time, warn me before you two come charging in like a out of control freight train and drag along the floor by my collar." He said as he rub his poor neck.

"Oh shut the fuck up."

"Oi." The Yorozuya turned their attention... to see the vampire himself, sitting in a chair and reading a newspaper on the table with a fridge in the room and still holding a cup of coffee in his right hand. The three and the vampire just stared at each other in silent for a moment or two before the vampire took a sip of his coffee.

"... WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO APPEAR WHEN WE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK?!" Kagura yelled terrfied, as she didn't want her blood to be suck up dried because she was just a cute little rabbit.

"That's because you three were just running in circle around my house. I wasn't interest in trying to catch you, so I decide to go to my kitchen and taking my nice breakfeast... before you ended up here anyway." The vampire said.

"Ok, okay. That's make sense." Gintoki.

That was when Weiss and Kagura notice the curtain in the kitchen of the castle and instantly walk over to it before grabbing the clothing on each side. "Vampire..." Weiss said before she and Kagura pulled down the curtain, revealing the morning sunlight to the vampire. "MEET YOUR DEMISE!"

When the sunlight strike upon the vampire... it does absolutely nothing to him. There was a moment of silent at this before Kagura then shouted in confusion at this. "WHAT THE HELL?! WHY THE SUN ISN'T TURNING YOU INTO ASHES?!"

Gintoki and Weiss quickly put it together. "Ah, he's the Bram Stroker novel version kind of vampire."

"Yeah, which I can do this." The vampire said as he snap his two finger together, summoning a cloud with sparking lightning striking the floor, causing a lit of fire, before suddenly raining on it, putting it out, before with another snap, disperse immediately, as the vampire resume speaking. "Beside; I have utterly zero interest in drinking your blood."

"You're not?"

"No. I have standards. Which remind me..." The vampire said to himself before he could a bite out of his gaelic bread and chew it for a bit before he swallowed it. "Then again, I am also weaken by the sunlight."

"Why?"

"Because i'm a member of the Yato race. You know, like one of the protagonist of Gintama."

The Yorozuya quickly sunk that information down into the little tiny space they called their own brains. "Oh, a vampire Yato. That far much more worse than normal one."

"Yes. But luckly, i'm able to control my bloodlust. And the fact i'm wearing sun screen." The vampire said before he remember something. "Oh yeah. I forgot to introduce myself to you three and the reader reading this chapter. My name is Nagiyoru (?M??)." The vampire, who have introduce to the Yorozuya as Nagiyoru, as he stood up from his chair and bow down to them in respect. "I am the sercertary to Yamatoakane Oda. It's a pleasure to meet you."

The Yorozuya were silent before they took a quick look up at the first section of the chapter and look back at Nagiyoru. "You mean the same guy who's introduce yet is not shown in this chapter?" Gintoki said.

"Yes. That's correct. Beside, I only drink those who are acceptable targets, one of them being molesters."

"Oh, okay." They all said.

"So you were the one who was taking the chain-smoker's dogfood?" Kagura asked Nagiyoru, with a shout of "OI, THEY'RE NOT DOGFOOD!" and a shout of "Yeah, they are" along with the battlecry of anger was heard.

"What? No. I'm allergic to mayonnaise."

"Huh? Then who...?" Weiss ask.

"That's possible the traditional-style vampire neighbor living in the abandon castle next door to me."

"WHAT?! THERE'S A VAMPIRE IN ANOTHER ABANDON CASTLE?!"

* * *

 

_Later..._

There was silent in a single room where the coffin of the traditional-style vampire neighbor was sleeping in the another abandon castle before Yorozuya snuck into the room and open up the coffin, causing the traditional-style vampire neighbor to wake up and rise up from his coffin... before Weiss and Gintoki pull down the curtains. "RISE AND SHINE, MOTHERFUCKER!"

The former samurai and the former heiress pulled down the drapes at the same time, causing sunlight to fill the room itself. The traditional-style vampire neighbor the screamed in pain at the sunlight of touching upon his pale skin as sun itself burning him, before his body turned to ashes.

"HERE YOUR BUCKET OF CANDY!" Kagura shouted as she smashed the bucket of candy into the body remains of traditional-style vampire neighbor, collapsing the remain of the vampire and it was blow into the wind.

"YAY! FREE MONEY!" The Yorozuya cheer as they jump in celebration.

They got their money and this chapter is fucking done. Today, it's Halloween and it is fucking time to fucking celebrate. Now; It's time for the THRILLER! HIT IT WEISS!

 ([X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA))

[Weiss singing in Micheal Jackson's voice:]

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurkin' in the dark

Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart

You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it

You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,

You're paralyzed

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night

And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike

You know it's thriller, thriller night

You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run

You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun

You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl

But all the while you hear a creature creepin' up behind

You're outta time

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night

There ain't no second chance against the thing with the forty eyes, girl

Thriller, thriller night

You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

Night creatures call

And the dead start to walk in their masquerade

There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time (they're open wide)

This is the end of your life

They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side

They will possess you unless you change that number on your dial

Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together

All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen, I'll make you see

That this is thriller, thriller night

'Cause I can thrill you more than any

ghoul could ever dare try

Thriller, thriller night

So let me hold you

tight and share a killer, thriller, chiller

Thriller here tonight

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night

Girl, I can thrill you more than

any ghoul could ever dare try

Thriller, thriller night

So let me hold

you tight and share a killer, thriller

I'm gonna thrill you

tonight

　

[Myself voice, Vincent Price-style:]

**Darkness falls across the land**

**The midnight hour is close at hand**

**Creatures crawl in search of blood**

**To terrorize y'all's neighborhood**

**And whomsoever shall be found**

**Without the soul for getting down**

**Must stand and face the hounds of hell**

**And rot inside a corpse's shell**

 

[Weiss continuing singing]

(I'm gonna thrill you tonight...)

　

[Myself still speaking:]

**The foulest stench is in the air**

**The funk of forty thousand years**

**And grisly ghouls from every tomb**

**Are closing in to seal your doom**

**And though you fight to stay alive**

**Your body starts to shiver**

**For no mere mortal can resist**

**The evil of the thriller**

_**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, both Yamatoakane Oda (meaning Great Crimson, I think) and Nagiyoru (meaning Calm Night) are both OOC that I'd created for this stupid fanfic that I've made. And other stuffs that I can't really remember.  
> Anyway, here my new plan; every two (or one, really depends) chapters that I do for The Sky Is the Limit, i'll do either a chapter for Weiss-Tama or Meet Your Monstie, Lute (because I forget it exist sometimes).  
> Now... HALLY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!


	4. Episode IV A New Shitty Chapter

"I believe Elizabeth may have been kidnapped." Zura said- "My name is not Zura, it's Katsura." Whatever. Katsura said. "I was too careless. Elizabeth has always been my side, so getting targeted by either Bakufu or another organization was unavoidable. So if he was gone, then there was only one thing that I could think of: he must have been kidnapped!"

The Yorozuya just give Katsura a blank expression on their faces as they sat somewhere in a restaurant while cricket were chirping in the background but I don't why so don't ask me for any questions because I don't fucking know before Gintoki ask. "And tell us... why did you think of that?"

"Because I find this note right in Elizabeth's room." Katsura answered as he hold a sign that read "I'll be gone for quite a while. So don't look for me" before he explain it to them. "When his sign say 'So don't look for me', what does it mean i'm not supposed to find? What do I do if when searching for what it is i'm not supposed to look for, I stumble upon the thing which i'm not suppose to look for. But-"

Gintoki decide to kick Katsura in the face with his foot so he can just shut up for one moment, if his experience from lesson 353 from the manga told have him otherwise, as he, Kagura, and Weiss ate their meals that Katsura order for them in momentary peace.

"Oi, author. The beginning of this chapter is just basically ripped out of Lesson 67 and 353."  
Yeah, that is because I am too fucking lazy to do a original beginning and if I wasn't fucking lazy then, then this fucking terrible excuse of an self deprecation of an fucking stupid joke wouldn't fucking work after two long and crappy chapters, now fucking would it? SO DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE FUCKING QUESTION OF HOW I FUCKING RUN THIS FUCKING FAN FUCKING FIC, DEAD FISH!!!!!

"Okay! Okay! I get it! You don't need to go on a rant for about a small of this chapter!"

"Zura-san, how are you sure that Elizabeth is kidnapped again? I mean, the first time he went missing he was kidnapped back in Lesson 67, but the second time is because he have monday off and Eren was his standby. Plus, it would be too cliche." Shin... hold on, let me remember his name, let see... uuuuhhhhhhhhhh... Ah! I remember, it's Shin Gendo Ikari? Yeah, that's it. Shin Gendo Ikari pointed out. "OI, MY NAME IS NOT SHIN GENDO IKARI! IT'S-"

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura." Katsura said before he told them. "Isn't it obvious? The kidnapper are trying to make me think that Elizabeth himself have gone somewhere for a while when he is in fact kidnapped by them, but joke right on his kidnappers! I can see the lied right through like paper!" He said, deducing of why Elizabeth was gone.

"OI, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!"

"Oi. Zura. That's a completely stupid deduction." Gintoki said. "Beside, if Shin Gendo Ikari has a reason to start the Third Impact, then the kidnapper would have a reason too."

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura."

"OI, MY NAME IS NOT-"

"GAHHH, FUCKING CURSE YOU SHIN GENDO IKARI FOR FUCKING RUINING THE ENTIRE REBUILD OF EVANGELION SERIES!!!!" Weiss suddenly shouted in rage, basically reinacting with fucking good accuracy of the fans of Evangelion's moods (and the full title is Neon Genesis Evangelion _and_ the Japanese name (Title I) itself is Shin Seiki Evangerion or the New Century Evangelion, but in the other meaning, it means "The Gospel of the New Century") of when they have reacted to Evangelion: 3.0 you can (not) redo film when it was released, before she shove the Spear of Analinus- Oops, sorry. Wrong name. The Spear of Longinus right up Shin Gendo Ikari's own ass, finishing him off before he could start the Third Impact. Weiss flip on some sunglasses out of no where. "That what you get for being a fucking asshole, fucking asshole."

"Yeah, that's fucking right, fucking asshole." Kagura said, also wearing sunglasses, while she and Weiss give the middle finger to the unconscious Shin Gendo Ikari, laying on the floor of the restaurant with the Spear of Longinus up his ass.

"Okay, Zura. When was the last time that you saw Elizabeth?" Gintoki ask, uninterest in the sight unfolded right beside him as he pick his nose with his pinky.

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura." Katsura said before he told his former comrade. "The last time that Elizabeth was with me is when we were watching that horrorifying show last night." Katsura said as he'd remember of last night, him and Elizabeth watching the show on the TV with their usual expression on their faces before Katsura suddenly let out a horrified scream just like a little girl... while just watching the first segment of the Pop Team Cooking of Pop Team Epic with Elizabeth's sign just simply called him a "wimp".

"Oi. That's not scary. That's pathetic." Gintoki said at seeing Katsura's memory right above him as he know there's far more scarier and he could let out a more _girlish_ scream than that.

"Yo-yo! You need to fucking throw a motherfucking GPS tracking device on that fucking bitch, yo!" Weiss rapped, suddenly dress in rapper clothing with a mircophone in her hand.

"That's motherfucking right, yo!" Kagura also rapped with a boombox right on her shoulder... before she then accidently broke the aforemention boombox into two pieces in half with her strength. This resulted in Weiss throttling the Yato girl before it turn into a catfight between them.

"A GPS!? Of course!" Katsura said, ignoring the rather obivous catfight right beside him, while he spoke to himself as he remember something. "Me and Elizabeth were walking through the Mushroom Kingdom looking for a cake before we saw a little girl remove a bicycle saddle of a bike before a gorilla landing on it."

"Zura, that doesn't make any sort of sense of why you think Elizabeth is somehow kidnap." Gintoki bluntly told Katsura as two sarcophagus of Weiss and Kagura were sitting beside him. "Oi, Dr. Gairyuki. Is the title of this chapter and the little girl that's mention above is a reference to Pop Team Epic?"

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura."

Yes, Gintoki. You're absolutely fucking right, you silver-haired bastard. It is fucking a fucking reference to Pop Team Epic. Why? Same fucking reason of why I motherfucking love Gintama in the first place. In fact, I want a fucking shitty crossover between those two. I WANT THAT KIND OF FUCKING CROSSOVER MADE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

"We must save Elizabeth before he'll be converted into a Cyberman!" Katsura said as the image of R2-D2 appear into his thought of mind.

"Zura, those are 2 completely unrelated sci-fi franchises." Gintoki pointed out as he've notice Katsura's thought right above.

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura."

"Oh yeah, I remember something." Weiss said to herself before she spoke to Kagura. "Hey, Kagura. Do you remember that Armor Gigas and Sadaharu? What the fuck was it again?"

"I don't fucking know, probably going to some shitty club meeting or whatever the fuck it is." Kagura answered as she shrug.

"A club meeting!? WHERE IS IT?!" Katsura ask desperablely like his life depends on it.

"Right over there." Weiss and Kagura answered simultaneously, pointing to the other side of the restaurant with their index finger... revealing Elizabeth, Saito, Armor Gigas, and Sadaharu were sitting at a table right on the other side of said restaurant.

Upon seeing this and with a joyful cried of "EEEELLLLIIIIZZZZAAAABBBBEEEETTTTHHHH!!!!!!!!", Katsura immediately jumped into the air and flew right to the other side of the restaurant... before he instantly fall down to the floor and went to sleep, mumbling in it. "One hamster... two hamsters... three hamsters..."

That was when Gintoki walked over to the 4 non-talking characters, walking over the sleeping form of Zura- "My name is not Zura, it's Katsura." Yeah, yeah. Said that in your damn fucking sleep. Katsura, all while Weiss and Kagura were fighting against the other customers over the last chicken nuggets with Szechuan Sauce, with Kagura doing the helicopter kick with Weiss spinning her, throwing several dozens of them out through the windows, before he then ask them. "So what are you guys doing?"

" _We're just talking about things._ " Elizabeth, Saito, and Armor Gigas answered simultaneously with their signs, along with own Sadaharu's bark. Gintoki was quiet for an moment before he ask another question.

"You guys have a new text speech patten?"

" _Yeah, the author of this retarded crossover fanfic got lazy and decide to do this since it's more easier for him to write._ "

"Oh okay... so what the name of your club?"

" _The 'Sign-Talking Club'._ "

"... Really, Dr. Gairyuki? That was the punchline?"

Yeah, I ran out of ideas for this chapter and got lazy so I decide to use this as the punchline. Now, i'm gonna on the next story in the Chaos Emperor Saga, but i'm still trying to figure out a name for it, but I can't choose which...

"How about Dragon at the Beach?"

Yes! That's a good enough name! And now to time to finished off this shitty chapter.

"Finally, about time."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, i'm pretty sure that this chapter is quite crappy... Omg, I think this fanfic is turning into a Pop Team Epic fanfic.  
> Anyways. Yes, i'm gonna do another story in the Chaos Emperor Saga. Now for how I'm gonna current run my fanfic right now is that i'm gonna do one chapter for Weiss-Tama and also one chapter for The Sky Is The Limit. So that's it.


	5. Episode V The Kiheitai Strike Back

_A long time ago, before this utterly crappy chapter was even posted..._

(Opening fanfare that is not the Star Wars' main theme playing)

 

**WEISS**

**TAMA**

 

**Episode V: The Kiheitai Strike Back**

**It is a time of Civil unrest, political tensions**

**with politicians being idiots per usual, and**

**Hardcore musicians duking each other out in a**

**utterly epic musical dual of the century itself.**

**Seriously, it is like a Yu-Gi-Oh dual game except**

**musician are battling it out with their own music,**

**which is quite awesome if you actually use your**

**space that is your head to actually think about it.**

**But what you may not know is that this utterly**

**pointless opening crawl that is full of renegade**

**paragraphs floating in this chapter are not suppose**

**to be here but yet it is just here in this fucking crappy**

**chapter in a fucking retarded crossover fanfiction**

**that is created by a fucking lazyass author who is**

**also apparently a Zoid for some unknown reason**

**is because just to get the summary for this fucking**

**chapter of what exactly happen out of the way. I**

**mean seriously, if it fucking work for the original**

**Star Wars film that was fucking release back in the**

**25 of the 5th month of 1977 and is the fucking first**

**one that begun the fucking entire US $65 billion**

**franchise, then this will fucking work for this**

**fucking dumbass chapter of this fucking**

**dumbass crossover of a comedy fanfiction.**

**But you're fucking not here to fucking heard**

**me fucking rant about this kind of retarded**

**stuff, so let cut to the fucking chase itself.**

**So short Summary: This fucking chapter is**

**planned by the lazyass author of this utterly**

**retarded crossover fanfiction of both RWBY**

**and Gintama for a fucking long time and**

**fucking time too. Long summary? Weiss got**

**got into an fucking epic battle of music and**

**fucking won. Okay, long story short; Weiss**

**apparently enter a tournament for music**

**to win a few million bucks. Otsu is also in**

**the tournament, but the author don't fucking**

**care about her, so we're just gonna skip her.**

**Weiss decide to utterly fucking curbstomp**

**everyone in the fucking dumbass tournment**

**by fucking playing the fucking entire music of**

**DragonForce's _Through The Fire and Flame_.**

**With an fucking guitar. On fucking Expert.**

**Without losing her finger nails and at least**

**One guitar. Just like a fucking badass.**

**I mean, i'm no fucking music expert on this,**

**but I did listen to it at least fucking once**

**and I do sure fucking know that it is fucking**

**hard to pull that off, even fucking once. And**

**that is why it is on the awesome page of**

**Guitar Hero on Tv trope itself because it is**

**just that fucking awesome all by itself alone.**

**So that is why Weiss is such a fucking good**

**singer and having a good singing voice too.**

**Weiss got 1st place and Otsu got 2nd place,**

**which pretty much pissed Bansei of Kiheitai off.**

**Ya know, the group that are mainly used as just**

**advertised extra as they appear every single openings**

**of the Gintama animes despite rarely, if ever, appearing?**

**Yeah, that's the one. And how pissed was he? Well,**

**let's just say he is just as pissed as everyone when they**

**reacted that Tumblr was purging all of the NSFW**

**contents on its website. How do I know that? Because**

**I'm fucking one of them that reacted to it. He was so**

**fucking pissed that Bansei decide to (and since he've**

**figure that Kiheitai could use the money in their own**

**opertions) steal the briefcase of where the million**

**buck money was in, which fucking pissed Weiss off.**

**Now getting on topic about Tumblr and the recent**

**situation on it...: Who's fucking running that joint**

**and what kind of fucking retarded dumbasses are they?**

**Guys who are acting like a bunch of brats? I mean, who**

**make such a fucking short-sighted decision that caused,**

**I don't know, a 1/3 of their users to move to other sites**

**due to it? It's like how 20th Century Fox have so little**

**faith in the Star Wars Franchise that they let Geogre Lucas**

**all of the merchandising rights and try to guess what happen**

**next? I mean, whoever the fucking are running Tumblr right**

**now are completely fucking dumbasses! WHO THE FUCK IN**

**THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MIND WOULD MAKE A FUCKING STUPID**

**DECISION IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE WITHOUT FUCKING**

**THINKING OF THE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES AT THAT THEY FUCK**

**IT UP TO THE POINT- I'm sorry. It's just... i'm just so fucking angry**

**at the whoever is running Tumblr that I just want to murder them**

**for it. Yeah, i'm pretty you people can understand that. Now then...**

**Go read this fucking chapter while I just go watch the first series**

**in the Brave series that started the series, Brave Fighter Exkaiser...**

* * *

 

" _A few hours ago of just today, award for the GuiterD*ck Tournment have been stolen just this today. The briefcase contain the award was being brought down the hall by the security guards, evidence by this camera feed just before the camera feed was cut and the security guards that were guarding the briefcase of the award were all but killed in the process with the briefcase now stolen. The police have immediately begun their investigating the scene of the crime, but their investigation were soon transfer to the Shinsengumi. The Shinsengumi themselves don't really know the identity of the suspect, but they suspect that the culprit is part of the one of the Anti-Foreigner Factions. It will be update once more evidence have been found, now back to you Ana Ketsuno._ "

" _Thank you, Komon. Today's prediction is, ironicly, red. Because someone is going to kick the screen of their TV in anger-_ "

"THAT FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" Weiss shouted in anger as she kick her feet into the TV's screen, breaking it in the process... before she tried to pull it out.

"Oi. That's gonna be extensive to repair it, ya know." Gintoki pointed it out to the white-hair girl while he lean against his fucking chair and pick his fucking nose with his fucking pinky.

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. It would have been covered by the reward that i've earn...:" Weiss said calmy as she pull her leg out of the broken screen... before she shouted in anger. "BUT THAT MOTHERFUCKING BITCH TOOK IT!!!!"

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!" Kagura shouted along with her.

"Who?" Gintoki asked, wondering if Weiss was refering to either Komon or Ana, because if she was refering to Ana, then he would been offence by Weiss insult.

"NOT THOSE 2 FUCKING WOMEN THAT APPEAR RIGHT FUCKING ABOVE US!!!" Weiss yelled at Gintoki after seeing his thought in text right above before she then pointed futher up than that. "I FUCKING MEANT THE ONE THAT THE LAZYASS AUTHOR HIMSELF HAVE MENTION IN THE OPENING CRAWL MUCH FURTHER UP!!!"

"THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT, YOU FUCKER!!!" Kagura yelled.

Gintoki temperory stop picking his own nose before he look up at the opening crawl right at the beginning of the chapter and see it with his dead fish eyes, now getting the idea of what Weiss was talking about. "Oh, so you're talking about Bansei, right?"

"Well, DUH."

"Yeah, what you think you fucking dumbass?" Kagura said before she ate her seaweed pickle. "Now time for me to cuddle Sadaharu."  
"NO, I'M GONNA FUCKING CUDDLE SADAHARU!"

"NO, FUCKING ME YOU BITCH!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"YOU FUCKING HEARD ME, ASSHOLE!"  
"WHY FUCKING YOU LITTLE-!"

Weiss and Kagura fought each other of who's gonna cuddle with Sadaharu while the giant space dog himself just look at this in amusement. That was when Gintoki heard sobbing right beside his table and look to his right to see... what was his name again? Shin... Shin... Shin... Shin Genma? Yeah, that sound about right. Shin Genma was crying like an little bitch before the silver samurai ask him. "What's up with you?"

"I'm crying because Otsu have got 2nd place."

Gintoki... have no idea of why Shin Genma was crying of over that before he told him. "2nd place is not that bad."

"ARE YOU KIDDING?! The point is: Otsu LOST! She deserved first place! She deserved it, I tell you!!! DESERVED IIIITTTT!!!!!!!!"

Shin Genma then goes back sulking about it like a fucking whiny bitch like Kira from Gundam Seed is. Gintoki just shrug and ignore him before he then decide to ask Weiss, knewing that if Bansei is involved, then it is most likey that his former comrade/friend and now arch-enemy Takasugi Shinsuke is also involved judging by what the texts of the opening crawl imply, and the best part about it? He's right! And he does the pose of when Gendo is sitting at his table. "So Weiss... you think that Takasugi is involved?"

"How the fuck should I fucking know? I'm fucking clueless as you are."  
"Good point."

"Of course, there's a way to find the Kiheitai's hideout." Weiss said. Gintoki was silent for several moments...

"... You mean the author's own laziness, don't you?" Gintoki deadpan.

"Well, duh! Dr. Gairyuki is too fucking lazy to type down all of the excess words for his own fucking liking if it is not fucking necessary for him for this shitty chapter." Weiss pointed it out to the silver-haired samurai, which is true because i'm NOT going to fucking type all of those words if i'm not fucking interest! No fucking way that i'm going do that! "Hey, Dr. Gairyuki! Can you teleport us to the Kiheitai's motherfucking hideout for you to cut fucking time on this utterly crappy chapter!"

Sure fucking thing, Weiss! It'll save me time anyways, but don't worry audience! You won't be disappointed by this utterly shitty chapter. And time to do now!

* * *

 

Later... at the Kiheitai's current hideout...

"See? The author is so fucking lazy that he have instantly put us at the Kiheitai's current motherfucking hideout!" Weiss said as they were at Kiheitai's current hideout, which was a rather large spaceship with what appear to be a sqaure-shape hole that have 8 sides (four long lines and four short lines, which make it look like a shape of a emerald cut gemstone) in the middle of its prow, which made it look like a certain other spaceship sitting still by the dock it was currently at. "Hey, isn't that ship ripping off Space Battleship Yamato?" SHIT!

"Yeah, I see your point. Though not that I care really." Gintoki answered with his usual dead fish expression before he pick his nose. "And why is that ship ripping off Space Battleship Yamato?"

"Time to fuck them up!" Weiss said as she's suddenly dress up like the Terminator from the 1984 film.

"Yeah!" Kagura agreed with her as she's suddenly dress up like Mad Max with her on top of Sadaharu.

"Oi. Wrong show." Gintoki deadpan.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!" Shin Genma shouted in shock, after stopping his sulking just for a moment only to see that they were suddenly at a different place.

"We're at the Kiheitai's current hideout." Gintoki bluntly answer. "We're going to stop them of whatever the hell they're planning on destroying Edo next."

"FUCK YEAH!" Both Weiss and Kagura shouted together while wearing sunglasses on their eyes before some explosion suddenly appeared right behind them.

"SCREW THAT!!! I want to go back home and continue to sulk about Otsu losing 1st place!"

"Oh, don't fucking worry about that." Weiss said rather cheerfully as she put her hand on Shin Genma before she told him. "You don't need to fight, you motherfucker!"

Before Shin Genma ask why, Weiss grab him by both of his leg and wield him like if he was sword. "OI! I'M NOT A SWORD! AND MY NAME IS NOT SHIN GENMA! IT'S-" His protest at this was ignored by the Yorozuya as Weiss and Kagura (riding on Sadaharu) let out their battle cries before they then immediately charged at the Kiheitai's current space battleship, quickly and stealthly got on the side of it, and sneak onbroad before it took off from water of the dock...

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... inside of the Captain's quarter behind the bridge of the ship..._

In the captain's quarter, the Kiheitai's 5 most promient members if you didn't fucking either read the manga or watch the anime or whatever the fuck that you got your own information from; The guy that kill people with guitar strings (Bansei), the cotch girl with the 2 revolvers (Matako), the lolicon with the strange fetishes and habits (Henpeita), and the utterly insane former comrade/friend of the dead fish who is none other the leader of Kiheitai (Takasugi). Of course, you guys are just probably wondering of where the fucking hell are both Kamui and Abuto? Well, they've gone off somewhere for the main time to find some challenging opponents or some shit, I don't really fucking know.  
"So let me get this straight: You took a briefcase that contain about few million yen at least?" Takasugi spoke to Bansei as he blow a long whisp of smoke he inhaled from his smoking pipe before looking out of the small window.

"Yes." Bansei answered while he was thinking for the new song he was making. "I figure we could use a bit more money in our operations."

"What make you said that?" Matako asked the songwriting assassin.

"Because in case if this ship goes down, i've figure we'll go into hiding for a while."

"That's a good point, but still..." Henpeita said before he told Bansei. "You shouldn't have cause attention like that."

"Why's that, mister lolicon?" Makato said sarcastically to him.

"I'm not a lolicon, i'm a feminist!" Henpeita said before he then pointed it out. "What i'm saying is that my concern is that the new member of Yorozuya, Weiss, was in the tournament as well and that would mean that Yorozuya will find out about it sooner or later."

"That's why I did it."

"You did?" Takasugi ask with a raised eyebrow in interest as he hold his smoking pipe in his left hand.

"Yeah. It is true that I was pissed by what happen, but that was just only exaggeration." Bansai said as he explain his reason to them while playing his guitar. "I did it intentional because I want to see her fight in person. I've seen the rest of the Yorozuya and their fights against us, but Weiss on the other hand, is the one I haven't seen fight yet. I want to see if she's such a challenging opponent that make me interest in her as I've never fought her, not just yet."

"Hmm... good point." Takasugi said as he return to look out of the small window of the room. "You'll never know how much a potential problem and a dangerous obstacle that someone is if it is someone that you have never seen before. And if they're on the ship right now, then we'll see how much of a potential problem that she is, I guess."

There was a bit of silent in the room... before a explosion was heard, shaking the entire ship, and the alarm went off just before one of the mooks enter the room. "SIR! There's intruders on the ship!"

Takasugi just blow out a long whisp of smoke from his lips before it curved into a smile. A smile that was full of blood lust before he spoke to Bansei. "Like you're gonna find out if she is a challenging opponent, Bansei."

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... outside on the ship..._

A group of five Kiheitai mooks were running toward the deck of the ship... before one of them got hit by another mook that was send flying before Weiss scream right in front of their faces in anger, causing _them_ to scream in fear like a bunch of little girls before the white-hair girl send them all flying with a single swing of her Shin Genma sword.

"OI! MY NAME IS NOT SHIN GENMA! IT'S-"

Weiss swing her Shin Genma sword at another group of Kiheitai mooks that sent them flying, shutting up her sword, before she gone for another group of mooks. "THUNDER FLASH!!!!!" She shouted King Exkiser's attack as she send several mook flying.

Kagura unleashed all powerful punch that landed right on a Kiheitai mook's face before her fist send him flying into a incoming group of more mooks, knocking them all off of their feets, while Sadaharu pounce on one of the mook that was trying to escape with his life and gawking on him with his fangs and teeths before one of the mook jump right behind him in the air and attempt to stab him from behind his back with his katana. However, Kagura saw this and the Yato girl immediately jumped before she kick him, resulting in the mook flying right into a incoming charge of several mooks, sending them all flying through the air, before she unleashed a fury of punches that send several more mooks flying into the air.

Gintoki easily knock down several mooks with just a few swing of his bokken while just still having his dead fish expression remain sketch on his face, probably wondering if Kiheitai have gotting cheap on recuiting their mooks for their operations and if you wondering, yes, half of them are probably dead now, before he pose himself... like a baseball player before a dozens and dozens of mook came charging at him before he then knock every single one of them down with the rapid swing of his bokken like a baseball bat.

Which this battle is quite impressive considering that this chapter i've made is fucking shitty really.

"OI! GIN-SAN!" Weiss called out to Gintoki as she continue to knock down and send several mooks flying. "Do you think that Kiheitai are getting fucking cheap with their mooks or the author is just too damn lazy?"

"Probably both." Gintoki answer, which might be true as this is _me_ that they're talking about. It was then that the mooks of Kiheitai finally stop coming at them, with some of the mooks that were knock off of the ship and some of the other mooks got kill. Either that:

A. They would ordered to stop coming at them.

B. They finally got though their fuckng thickheaded skull in the motherfucking empty space that they fucking call their fucking brains.

C. Or their survival instinct were screaming at them so fucking hard that they comply with it... and threw themselves off of the ship to get fucking far away from Yorozuya.

"... So which one of us have the highest score?" Weiss ask around. "Because I wasn't counting. Kagura?"

"Not me, I was busy beating the shit out of the mooks."

"Okay. What about you, Gintoki?"

"I lacked the interest in counting the score."

"Sadaharu?" Sadaharu just panted like the giant space dog he is... while he was sitting on the one of the mooks who is grasping for air with the giant space dog sitting on top of his back before Weiss remember that dog can't keep count or remember them anyway as she hold her Shin Genma Sword high in the air. "Oh right, you're a dog. So you don't give a shit."

Sadaharu just bark in reply.

"I guess that means I have the highest score then."  
"OI! THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE HIGHEST SCORE OUT OF US!"

Yorozuya went on arguing who have the highest score before they heard someone.

"So you're Weiss Schnee, the newest member of the Yorozuya..."

Yorozuya turn their head and they see Hepeita was on the same deck with them. There was silent for a moment before Weiss suddenly let out a scream as she point her finger at the guy with the weird fetish. "AAAHHH, THAT GUY IS A FUCKING PEDO BEAR!!!!"

"AAAAHHHH, A MOTHERFUCKING PEDO BEAR!!!!" Kagura scream.

"I'm not a pedo bear! I'm a femis-" Henpeita's word were cut short when Weiss let out her battle cry and thrown her Shin Genma Sword at him, knocking both the strange fetish guy and Shin Genma off of the ship and into the ocean, in which they were fought over by a group of sharks and killer whales.

"The pedo bear is fucking dead." Weiss said, as if nothing have never happen.

"Hey, Weiss." Kagura said.

"What?"

"Do you really think he was a fucking pedo bear?"

"I don't really fucking know."

That was when bullets being fired were heard and Weiss immediately see the bullets coming straight at her before she dodge them by doing a Matrix-style slow mo as she bent backward, causing the bullets to fly over her, before they hit the wooden floor of the deck. Weiss got back up before she and Kagura look at the bullet holes and then to each other, confused of who the fucking hell tried to shot Weiss.

"OI! YOU'VE JUST MENTION HER BACK IN THE PREVIOUS SECTION OF THIS SHITTY CHAPTER!" Gintoki tried to point it out, but I just fucking ignored him as I want to keep it secret of who did it despite obiviously who it is. "THAT'S A COMPLETELY SHITTY REASON TO DO THAT!!!"

"Tsk, so you've dodge my bullets."

Weiss and Kagura turn their attention to see Matako standing front of them while point two of her revolvers at Weiss with the barrel still smoking from the bullets that she fired at the white-hair girl... before the Yato girl spoke. "Hey, it's Kijima Ma*ko!"

"MY NAME IS NOT MA*KO, YOU FUCKING BITCH! AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CENSORIIING?! NY NAME IT'S MATAKO, SAY IT RIGHT GODDAMN IT (YOU'RE GONNA MISLEAD THE FORKS)!!" Matako yelled in anger

"Huh? I thought her name was C***ko?" Weiss ask as she turn to look at Kagura.

"Nah, i'm pretty sure it's A*a." Kagura said.

"OI!!!! MY NAME IS NOT EITHER C***KO!! OR A*A!! IT'S MATAKO, GODDAMN IT!!! MA! TA! KO! MATAKO!!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS, YOU FUCKING GODDAMN IDIOTIC BITCHES!!!!"

Both Weiss and Kagura say "Oooooohhhhhhh..." at the same time... before they look at each other and spoke. "So does that mean "Young Crotch Woman" in japanese, Kagura?"

"I think so."

"THAT'S A DIFFERENT FORM OF KANJI FOR MATAKO, BOTH OF YOU FUCKING BITCHES!!!!"

"Woah, woah! Calm your tits down, Yō*u! We're just here to ruin you guys' plan! And maybe kill your boss if we have the chance!" Weiss said as she tried to calm Matako down.

Unfortunately for her, it has the opposite effect on Matako as she let out a scream at this in rage before she start shooting at Weiss with her 2 revolvers, causing to run for her life before she got behind Kagura. However, reality itself is a bitch, which Matako find out when she ran out of bullets to shoot. "CURSE YOU, REALITY!!!!"

Seeing this as her que, Weiss spoke to Kagura. "Are you ready for our special attack, Kagura?"

"Fuck yeah!"

Weiss summon the gauntlet hand of her Arma Gigas and pick up Kagura before she aim the Yato girl like a baseball player preparing to throw the ball and in this case, the ball is Kagura herself, as they shouted their special attack together. "SPECIAL ATTACK: KAGURA BASEBALL ATTACK!!!" With a great heave of strength into her arm, Weiss fling Kagura toward Matako, propelling her through the air toward the girl with the revolver so fast that she easily pass by Sonic the Hedgehog, which she quickly waved hi and bye to, before the Yato girl smash right into Matako's stomach with her head, knocking the blonde crotch woman down to the floor of the deck.

Kagura got up from the floor and walk over to Matako, who was groaning in pain from being hit right in her stomach, before she flip her over and put her arm behind her back before she spoke one sentence. "Now say uncle or i'll never let you go!"

"Seriously?! You just did that just to say it?!"  
"SAY IT, BLONDY!"  
"NEVER, YOU BITCH!"

Gintoki and Weiss just look at Kagura and Makato bricking each other with blank expression on their faces before they heard a chuckle before a familiar voice then spoke out to them. "So you're the newest member of Yorozuya. And hello, Gintoki." Weiss and Gintoki slowly pointed their head upward to see Takasugi, standing on the deck of the ship's bridge wing with one foot on top of the bridge wing, with Bansai standing right beside him, as he spoke to them. "I see you're here to stop per usual."

"Takasugi..." Gintoki said, with a tone of both annoyance with a slight seriousness and bittle-ness in his voice, as he pick his nose before he ask him. "What are you planning on destroying Edo this time?"

"Oh, nothing really..." Takasugi answered that question with a sarcastic tone to his voice... before his smile became a grin filled with blood lust while his eyes have flash the reflection of his own insanity. "Except blowing it up with the Wave Lazer Gun of this ship."

"... Ah, so that's explain why it is a ripoff of Space Battleship Yamato." Weiss noted.

"Okay, but where and when the hell did you get a ripoff of Space Battleship Yamato from?" Gintoki asked.

"Harusame. They wanted to test out a new weapon they stole, so Kamui convinced them to let us use it." Takasugi bluntly answered. "However, it gonna take a while for it to be charge by full power... Bansai? You can have your fun now."

"Sure." Bansai then send out several dozen razor wire strings from his guitar before using all of them to attack both Weiss and Gintoki at once immediately, causing the former heiress and the former samurai to dodge the strings for their lives. However, Gintoki notice that only a dozen or so razor wire strings were attacking him while most of them were focus on Weiss only, which eyes of the silver samurai didn't failed to see that the white-hair girl was easily dodging them all that look a lot like that she was dancing around, like if she was a experience dancer. This also caught Takasugi and Bansai's eyes, but Bansai himself particularly, as he've notice Weiss' tune and rhytem, both the reflections of his opponent's own mood or spirit and own fighting style, was dancing around to the strings of his music, making hard for him to predict her moves.

However, such things were short lived when a mook quickly came up to Takasugi. "Sir! The gun is now fully charged!"

"Tell them to fire when ready." Takasugi said.

"HEY TAKASUI!" This cause Takasugi to take a look at Weiss, who yelled out his name while still dodging Bansai's strings, before she told the one-eye terrorist himself. "You think you're gonna fucking win this round, ya emo? Well, it may look like you're gonna win, but you've failed to take one fucking thing that you didn't even fucking think of!"

This cause to raise his only exposed eyebrow before Takasugi asked. "What's that?"

Bansai suddenly notice the changes in the tune from the white-hair girl as Weiss grinned at this before she told him. "The author is too fucking lazy! And since this shitty chapter is way too fucking long, he gonna decide to end this quickly!"

Before they could anything, Weiss summoned a glyph... right in _front_ of the ship's Lazer Wave Gun, mere second from being fired. It was this moment that Takasugi knew... he fucked up.

When that happen, it caused the laser itself to bounce right back into weapon, causing a explosion from the inside like it was the Death Star, since this chapter had several reference to Star Wars and other stuff from space opera.

"This is our que!" Weiss said.

"Yep, it's definity is!" Gintoki said before he, Weiss, and Sadaharu made a run before he yell out to Kagura, who was still bricking with Makato while on top of her back. "KAGURA! Time to get off before this thing explode to tiny little pieces!"

"Wha?! Oi! Wait for me!" Kagura immediately got off of Makato's back as she quickly chased after them.

Soon, Yorozuya jump off of the ship, dodging Bansai's strings in the process, and fell down to the water of the bay. They floated on the surface as they look at the ship itself crashing, far away, right into the endless distance of open ocean.

"... So they're dead?" Weiss asked.

"Nah, they'll come back soon." Gintoki answered. "This is Gintama after all and the author of this retarded crossover fanfiction have plan for them anyway."

"Oh yeah." There was silent for a moment between the members of Yorozuya... before Weiss spoke out her opinion. "I like Micheal Jackson's msuic."

Yorozuya then broke out in an arguement with each other of Micheal Jackson's music of being really good or just overrated, just hey, this is just a normal day for Yorozuya.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, yes, this chapter took too long, but it is worth it.  
> Originally, I want where Weiss summon a 60-meter height Arma Gigas that loomed over the ship... before it block the gun with one finger, with Takasugi knewing he fucked up, but I got lazy. :P  
> Anyway, i'm gonna do one more chapter of Weiss-Tama, a christmas (although I haven't the bases of it yet) before I'm doing a fanfic that i'm gonna release between the 21th to the 25th of December... and the 18th chapter of MYML.


	6. How The Sadist Save (Fucking) Christmas

So you wondering how fucking long has past from the last chapter in this completely shitty crossover fanfiction that I created? Well, I guess around a few weeks at most because that is the best time estimate that I can think of.

It was snowing in Edo, it is so damn cold that your balls or nuts or whatever the fuck you have on your crotch will freeze up hard and fall off, red and green and white neon lights that are so bright to point you have a goddamn seizure from just looking at them for a moment were at every freaking mall and just freaking everywhere, pine trees that are probably just fake for prize reasons were seen everywhere in the city, the fucking snow were falling everywhere, and the consistent cheering and singing with bells that were ringing added right in from the people outside that are just trying to distract themselves from the fact that their _own_ fucking goddamn balls were freezing hard like hell that are just about as annoying as the goddamn noisy family next-door that do nothing but making noises to annoyed everyone passing by, which is so fucking annoying.

This, my dear old friends that are fucking reading this utterly crappy chapter of this utterly shitty story that we called a crossover fanfiction, is motherfucking Christmas itself... or X-mas... or- You know what? You whatever the fuck can call it, I don't give fuck what it is really called or what it is really about or even this fucking holiday itself.

Now, i'm pretty sure that you a few of you that are reading this retarded chapter are probably wondering and might be asking yourself: 1. What the fuck is Christmas? 2. What the actually fuck is it about? 3. Why the fucking hell is this chapter or this fucking story completely shit about? And 4. What the fuck is crossover with fucking anyway?

Okay. 1. I don't give a fuck. 2. I don't give a FUCK. 3. It's because it is or if you haven't read it... then why the fuck are you reading this chapter anyway? And 4. It's RWBY and Gintama, if you eyes didn't even fucking see it for the first time.

But who really give fuck about that? Let just get fucking on with the fucking story of this shitty chapter. The Shinsengumi group's own resident sadist teammate (and also Hijikata's pain in the ass because he's the bane of his existance), Okita Sougo, the proud owner of the name "Prince of Sadist" himself, was walking down the fucking freazing cold streets of Edo that was snowing while he was singing a utterly fucking bad song to himself.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 1 pair of Armbinders. On the second day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 2 Bondage beds and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the third day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders-" However, Okita's singing to his utterly fucking horrible song was cut short when a green light was shining on him. "Hm? What the fuck? I am being-"

Okita disappear into the green light...

* * *

 

But that's not interest part. I'm pretty sure you're more interest in the full and complete lyrics of the song that the sadist was singing, so here it is and sing it if you want to... because we lost visionary on Okita for a moment.

[On the first day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 1 pair of Armbinders. On the second day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 2 Bondage beds and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the third day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 7 variety of medical restaints, 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 8 different design of Paddlocks, 7 variety of medical restaints, 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 9 sorts of ropes, 8 different design of Paddlocks, 7 variety of medical restaints, 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 10 groups of shackles, 9 sorts of ropes, 8 different design of Paddlocks, 7 variety of medical restaints, 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 11 Spreader bars, 10 groups of shackles, 9 sorts of ropes, 8 different design of Paddlocks, 7 variety of medical restaints, 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders. on the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love threw at me: 12 Sybian, 11 Spreader bars, 10 groups of shackles, 9 sorts of ropes, 8 different design of Paddlocks, 7 variety of medical restaints, 6 types of harness, 5 style of gas masks, 4 kinds of gags, 3 steel chains, 2 Bondage beds, and 1 pair of Armbinders...]

YUP! We found Sougo again! Let's continue on.

* * *

 

... Only for the Prince of Sadist himself to reappear in a different location. "-Abducted? Oh wait, never mind. Look like I already am." Sougo deadpan.

That was when he notice that there were several more people that he didn't recongize were here too with him before he notice 3 little yellow monkey men that were sitting behind a desk that make them look like they were three judges at an WWE wrestling match with a ball-shaped drone floating right above them. How yellow were they? They were yellow as piss itself.

" **Greeting, freshly meat sack.** " The ball-shaped drone said, with one of the three yellow alien speaking in a different kind of language that does not belong to Earth and more like belong to one of the Amanto tribes, before it floated over to Okita and told him. " **Now hold still for the probing...** "

"Oh, don't worry about that, I'm pretty docile anyway." Okita deadpan.

" **Really now? Well, this will be easy...** "

" **Well, this is first time that someone hold still.** " The 1st little yellow monkey man said before he spoke to the 2nd little yellow monkey man. " **Does anyone hold still?** "

" **Not really.** " The 2nd little yellow monkey man answered.

" **Then why do we even ask them to?** "

" **Uuummmmmm...** "

" **It's simply polite, you know.** " The third little yellow monkey man answered as he told the 1st yellow monkey man. " **This one will be a easy one to probe at.** "

"Of course I will be." Sougo deadpan...

... But however (and unfortunately for them), since this is Okita Sougo we're talking about, so it doesn't take a guess or two of what is gonna happen next...

* * *

 

" _Just a few hours ago, an Amanto spaceship was detected and spotted in the sky of Edo itself._ " Hanano Saki said on the TV screen. Ya know, the news reporter that got run over by Gintoki's scooter both times back Lesson 71 to 73? Yeah, that's the same one. " _DON'T MENTION MY INTRODUCTION TO THE AUDIENCE THAT ARE READING THIS CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, the Shinsengumi believe this is one of a group of Amanto that are doing illegal active from planet to planet, mainly abducting people against their will. These are picture of the Amanto that are doing this._ " The TV screen then change to show the 3 little yellow monkey men from before. " _They have abducted several people already, about 73 in total. However, the last one that they abducted happen to be one of the members of the Shinsengumi itself, more specifically, Okita Sougo, but most people called by his more infamous nickname..._ " Saki then shudder in both fear and revulsionness... as _she_ was one of the many girls that Sougo dated with. " _The Prince of Sadist. We just got video message from the abducting Amanto._ "

The TV changed again to show one of the 3 little yellow monkey men, looking absolute horror and fear, as he scream out in terror. " _HUMP! HUMP US! WE PROMISED THAT WE'LL CONFRESS ANYTHING THAT WE DID AND TURN OURSELVES IN!!!! JUST HUMP US GET THIS PSYCHO AWAY FROM US!!!!!!!_ "

"It's 'help me', got it?"

That was when a boot was suddenly punt right into little yellow monkey man's cheek before the TV screen shown Sougo with a steel chain whip in one of his hands while he was grinning like his nickname imply before he spoke while wigging his boot in little yellow monkey man's face with his eyes glowing demonically. " _Hey there, you little f*cker. So said that you can leave my little 'session'?_ "

" _OI, SOUGO! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING?!_ "

Sougo return to his normal blank and deadpan expression as he turn to look at the screen in front of him. " _Oh, hey Hijikata._ "

" _SOUGO! ARE YOU TORTURING THEM?!_ "

" _No, i'm just torturing your fucking spirit animal._ " Sougo deadpan.

" _MY SPIRIT ANIMAL ISN'T A PISS YELLOW MONKEY AMANTO!_ "

" _Of course not, you're really a monkey who eat dog food all day long._ " Sougo deadpan before he told someone else through the TV screen. " _Oh, and hey China Girl-_ "

"FUCK YOU, SADIST!" Kagura fucking broke the TV screen with her fist. Weiss and Gintoki just look with blank expression on their face while the Yato girl was breathing in and out before Sadaharu let out a yawn. Oh, and if you were wondering... wait, what was his name again? Let me remember... let's see... Shin... Shin... Shin... Shin Harry Potter? Yeah, I think that's the one. Anyway, if you were wondering what the fuck has happen to him? He got the beating crap put of him from a Krampus before it shove a end of a candy cane up in his end and then tooken away .

"Oi, Kagura. That's gonna be expensive to repair, ya know?" Gintoki said as he was currently picking his nose with his pinky.

"I don't care. That's fucking sadist just pissed me off to no ends." Kagura said as she pull her fist out of the now broken TV. "God, I fucking hate him."

"Yeah, you can fucking murder him later. Now it's time to open the presents." Weiss said.

"Presents?! YAAY!"

Weiss walk to the Christmas tree and turn it around... only to see it was actually Zura in one of his disguises. "My name is not Zura, it's Katsura." Whatever. Both Weiss and Gintoki were silent for a moment...

... Before they slide open the door immediately and thrown him out of the Yorozuya's place into the snowing streets.

"Okay, now that's over with. Time to open some motherfucking presents and drank some motherfucking shake till we're dead!"  
"FUCK YEAH!"

"Yeap."

"HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS!" All the member of Yorozuya, including Sadaharu even though I think he's a giant space dog, chime together before they all drank their egg nogs.

You see, fucking Christmas isn't really about the tree itself or the fucking present at all, it's about getting together and enjoy it to the fullest of your content... even though I know what the fuck is it actually about, but even if I fucking did, I fucking refused to tell you BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT!!!!!

JOY! PEACE!! CHRISTMAS!!!

SO HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING EARLY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, guys! I did this chapter as a sort of filler. Because i'm gonna disappear for a couple of days, mainly because i'm gonna be doing a story that I was planning to do this year. So... happy christmas to every one of you!


	7. A Happy New Fucking Year

A New fucking upcoming year, a new fucking shitty chapter. And oh, Guest of the 6th (deleted) review on FF, I don't know who the fuck you are, but I have two words for you: Fuck off. I can tolerance negative that have a few simple words of what they think, but I DON'T tolerance and have a zero tolerance toward negative reviews that are rather rude or pointless as I don't give any them second chances. I am a proud author of my stories (except for a certain few early stories). This is my fanfic and that's YOUR opinion, but keep it to yourself. I'm not forcing anyone to laugh. They can laugh whenever they want. I'm just making at least a enjoyable fanfiction that is close to the source material and you just don't understand it at all, buddy. 

... Now's that fucking out of the way, let's begin this fucking shitty chapter:

' _Why was I put in charge of this crap?_ ' Hijikata thought to himself grumpily at this. Which, of course, I understand that feeling quite well, like the time on RWBY when I find out SEW are reveal to be made by the God of Light to defeat the Grimms, I wasn't too happy and decide to ignored it, despite it being canon.

Anyway, the Demonic Vice-Commander of the Shinsemgumi himself was assign to a mission: Take Yamatoakane Oda to a New Years Party he was invited to and guard while he was at it, you know, the OOC that i've created few months back? The guy who was mention to be the advisor/commissoner/retainer to the Shogun? Who was previously mention in the Hallowen special that was the 3rd chapter of this shitty story? Yeah, that's the one.

Deciding that he doesn't want to take count to 1-2-3 before being shot after 1 by Matsudaria's gun, he immediately signed onto this mission.

And Hijikata was now standing right in the middle of the pink-colored office room that was Yamatoakane Oda's that just look like the pink version of Matsudaria's commissoner office, with Yamatoakane Oda himself, who look like the Pokemon Conquest version of Nobunaga in his Rank II form with a toothbush mustache, sitting in his chair, looking at the Demonic Vice-Commander with serious-looking expression on his face while stroking his pet like a cat... which was a Binturong... or a bearcat... or whatever you call it, because it doesn't give a fuck of what it's being called. "So you're Hijikata Toshirou, the Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinseigumi organization, that I heard so much about..." Yamatoakane said, speaking for the first time in this chapter.

"Yamatoakane, sir..." Hijikata said before he point at Yamatoakane's pet Binturong with his finger. "What on earth is that?"

"This is Mr. Great Grand Mega Ultimate Super Hyper Ultra Gun Cannon Bullet Energy Plasma Laser Death Dead Deader Than Dead Deadman Skull Doom Doomy Of Doomer Battleship Cool Glacier Frozar Edgelord Dark Darker Darkness Yama Shadow Shadowlord Shade Dragon Dino Tyrannosaurus Rex Killer Slaughter Massacre General Grand Admiral Mashal Supersoldier Duke Duchess Archduke Archduchess King Queen Emperor Kasier Action Awesome Two MKIII the Fourth." Yamatoakane said, his face still looking serious. "But his first name is Popcorn."

"... Right... whatever." Hijikata said before he light up his cigarette with his lighter and took a puff of smoke before he blew it. He thought back to the news when Ana Ketsuno spoke her daily prediction: "Today color is pink! That mean you're gonna be strangle by a dragon before being rammed by a bull! Then a swirling storm of black like coal and yellow like piss will appear over the skies before you're then chased by a swarm of killer ninjas! And finally, a powerful wave of cold and warm air will collide with each other into creating a tornado! Have fun today!" He wasn't sure of what that suppose to meant, but he was sure that he's gonna die. Having already face the fact that he's gonna died one day anyway, he just shrug and crack his shoulders into place before he told Yamatoakane. "Anyway, i'm order to drive and guard you over at the New Year Party."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because you were invited."

"So you mean the Easter Bunny will be there too?" Yamatoakane asked, his face remaining stone serious.

"I... guess so?"

"Good! THEN WE MUST WALK DOWN THE GOLDEN BRICK ROAD TO HUNT DOWN THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!" Yamatoakane shouted, still remaining stone serious.

"What...?"

"Hijikata! Popcorn! Quick, TO THE YAMATOAKANEMOBILE!"

* * *

 

*DADADADADA BATMAN!*

* * *

 

Hijikata was driving Yamatoakane toward the invited party in his personal luxary car, AKA the Yamatoakanemobile. He took one quick look at Yamatoakane and saw that he was singing and playing "Ride of the Valkyrie" on the guitar, badly, while wearing a toilet seat around his neck somehow, deciding that it was a good time to take a puff of smoke... just before a pink loin cloth was immediately wrap around his neck and start choking him.

This cause Hijikata to mostly lose control of the vehicle, steering out of control as it run on side of the wall, skate on the railings like a skateboard, and even doing a breakdancing moves like a pro! As various bystanders of the streets of Edo quickly got out of the way of the out of control vehicle before it have manage to run over a gorilla, getting it struck in its bumper, all while Hijikata was trying to get the pink loin cloth off of his damn neck.

Trying to get the car back under control while defending from a attacking pink clothing was difficult business, which Hijikata found out the hard way. "YEAH NO FUCKING KIDDING!!!! BECAUSE I'M BEING CHOKED TO DEATH!!!!!" However, he heard a familiar deadpan voice.

"Oi, Hijikata. Smoking while driving is bad for you."

"SOUGO?! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"Oh nothing really." Sougo deadpan, wearing as he continue to strangle Hijikata with the pink loin cloth. "I'm here because Matsudaria thought Yamatoakane wasn't protected enough and so I disguise myself as his pet Binturong, which meant I do my usual routine."

"Ah, look like Popcorn love you." Yamatoakane said, his face still serious.

"YOU IDIOT! YOUR DISGUISE JUST CONSIST OF WEARING A CAT HEADBAND! AND THIS THING ISN'T EVEN YOUR PET BITURONG, SIR!"

Suddenly (and fortunately for Hijikata, much to Sougo's annoyance), the car crashed right into the back of a delivery truck, with the gorilla being wedge in between, much to the irritated to the driver, which was Madao himself. "OIIIIIII!!! Do you know how to drive?!"

Yamatoakane suddenly kick open the back door with his feet, got out, and walk up to him, all while maintaining his serious look on his face, before throwing a bunch of flower right at his face. "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" Yamatoakane suddenly shouted before he walk away like a pro. "MISSION ACCOMPLISH!"

"Oi, sir. You just threw a bunch of flower at his face." Sougo pointed it out. And then a swarm of _bees_ came. Oh, but these are not any _ordinary_ bee. Oh no, these are _Killer_ Bees!

"OI, AUTHOR! THAT'S NOT ANY BETTER!!!" The swarm of killer bee then attacked Madao. "... Yamatoakane... they're attacking a old useless man."

"Huh? No. They're not attacking him. So he's alright."

"HUH?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY ATTACKING HIM!"

"No, he's over there." Yamatoakane said, with his face still serious, as he pointed with his thumb, pointing to Madao's pair of sunglasses.

"Oh hey, look Hijikata, he is alright." Sougo said.

"... Guys... that's just his pair of sunglasses."

That was when the swarm of killer bee were done with Madao and thrown him away, like a piece of fucking trash, before turning their attention on someone, or rather, on _them_.

When Hijikata see the killer bees, looking at them, there was one response from him: He grab both Yamatoakane and Sougo at the same time and threw them both into the back of the car before immediately getting in and drove the car back, with the gorilla still struck on the bumper, before hitting the pedal to the metal with and put gear into maximum drive, which instantly put the car into its maximum speed, running fast away, as the killer bees give the chase.

Hijikata tried to get them off of their tails, but they just kept following them like a bunch of laser-guided missiles. In frustation of this, he took a puff of smoke from his current cigarette and blow it, before he look at it and thought about it for a moment... decide to 'screw it' and threw it out of the car's window, right in the path of the killer bees.

The instant they saw it, the swarm of killer bee screamed at the sight of the cigarette in front of them and jumped through the window of a building... where one of Jouishishi meetings was being held at.

"Ah, look like those damn pests are gone." Sougo said... before he got out a leash. "Then that means I can get back to my usual routine now."  
"OI! SOUGO, I'M DRIVING HERE! THAT WE'LL ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIED IF YOU DO THAT!"

"Oh please, they're not _pests_. They're just the annoying donation-seekers from the airports."

"YAMATOAKANE, THOSE KILLER BEES ARE NOT DONATION SEEKERS, THEY'RE-... Actually... now that I think about it, it's quite actually perfectly accurate when you look at it actually." Hijikata comment on this before he took a look on his right... only to see Zura-

"My name is not Zura, it's Katsura."

Whatever. To see Katsura being carried by Elizabeath as the duck penguin thing was running along the car. "WHAT THE HELL?! WHY THE HELL IS ZURA AND HIS SECOND-IN COMMAND DUCK PENGUIN THING IS RUNNING ALONG THE CAR???!1!!!11!!"

"My name is not Zura. It's Katsura. Now prepared to die."

Katsura pull out one of his bombs from his slevees. Hijikata quickly turn his head around to make sure that Yamatoakane was because if he was going to survived this, he wasn't gonna get seppuku from this... althrough he only saw his seat was completely empty. Confused by this, he poke his head out... and see Yamatoakane himself standing right on the roof top of the car, suddenly wearing tennis clothing and holding an tennis racket in one of his hands, with his expression still serious. This cause Hijikata to angrily shout at him. "YAMATOAKANE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR, YOU IDIOT?!"

"So you're Katsura, huh?" Yamatoakane said, his expression still serious yet ignoring Hijikata's shouting at him, before he hold his tennis racket like a sword as he shouted toward Katsura. "I'LL ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!!!!"

"BRING IT ON, SUCKER!!!!"

They immediately begun fighting... by throwing UNO and Yugioh cards right at each other, as the cards destroyed each other when they hit each other, and keep missing their intended targets because of their bad aims.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!!!!!!!!"

"DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA!!!!!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! A REFERENCE TO THE FIRST CHAPTER THAT REFERENCE THE 90TH EPISODE OF DEATH BATTLE?!" Hijikata shouted at this, as he lampshade this. But how the hell I'm suppose to know? I'm just the fucking lazyass author of this stupid crossover fanfiction. Anyway, Katsura and Yamatoakane kept throwing UNO and Yugioh cards at each other before they and prepared to unleashed the two most famous energy attacks in history. Hijikata saw this and remember last part of Ana's prediction, he easily put two and two together before he shouted at the two serious-looking idiots. "WAIT! DON'T DO IT YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS-"

"KAMEHAMEHA!!!!"

"HADOUKEN!!!!"

 _BOOM!!!!_ That was when the 2 most famous energy attack collided with each other, blowing up into a mushroom-shape cloud like it was a nuclear bomb.

* * *

 

" _This is Hanano Saki from Oedo Tv, here to report the New Years Party that is being held at the- GAAHHH!!!!_ "

She was then ran over when the now wrecked Yamatoakanemobile burst through the wall of the building where the New Years party is being held at, with Yamatoakane himself standing naked in his underwear on top of Katsura and the gorilla on the top of the car, his expression still serious, while Hijikata was sucking down a bottle of mayonnaise like no tomorrow as if the world is going to be gone by tomorrow as Sougo got himself chain leash to strangle the Vice commander himself, before he shouted. " _THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!!!!_ "

"Ah, it's boring anyways." Gintoki said as he turn off the TV with the remote and laid back into his chair before he start picking his nose.

"Too bad they're not big fucking chump of Santa-shape chocolates or else I'll fucking eat them all." Kagura said.

"You fucking crazy, you'll get so fat that you'll be mistaken for a motherfucking extinct ground sloth." Weiss said.

"Oh fuck off, ya bitch."

"... The fuck you just say, you crazy bitch?"

"You fucking heard me, you insane albino."

"Alright, enough fucking with each other." Gintoki said. And yes, it was a innuendo. Before he hold up a glass of strawberry milk in his right hand. "It's almost time for a new year."

"Yep." Weiss and Kagura chime before holding up their own glasses of strawberry milk.

Then they all spoke at once.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!"

They chunk down the three glasses of strawberry milk together at once until it was now all gone...

And now it's time to put this story on hiatus now.

"HUH?!! WHY?!!"

Because I want to finished a few other stories and beside, I got about a dozen new stories I'm planning, so it is quite inevitable that I'm gonna have to put it on hiatus. Beside, I am gonna continue on with this story next year anyway. Now then, time to put it on hiatus now...

"WHAT!? NO! NO NONONONNONONO! DON'T DO IT!!!!"

TOO LATE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, hate to admit it, but i'm putting it on hiatus for now because I got other things that I want to work on. So sorry... but I hope- wait a minute... somebody's banging on the door- OH GOD IT'S EXPLODED! Wait... Weiss, Gintoki, and Kagura? What are y- OH SHIT! Oh dear god! OH DEAR GOD! STOP YOU THREE! See you guys later, where hopefully i'm not murdered by these 3- OH COME ON! IT WILL BE BACK! JUST STOP TRYING TO KILL ME PLEASE!


End file.
